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PAIN
PAIN We can rest contentedly in our sins and in our stupidities, and everyone who has watched gluttons shoveling down the most exquisite foods as if they did not know what they were eating, will admit that we can ignore even pleasure. But pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world. C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I heard Professor Bruce Waltke describe a Christian\'s response to pain this way: We once rescued a wren from the claws of our cat. Thought its wing was broken, the frightened bird struggled to escape my loving hands. Contrast this with my daughter\'s recent trip to the doctor. Her strep throat meant a shot was necessary. Frightened, she cried, \"No, Daddy. No, Daddy, No, Daddy.\" But all the while she gripped me tightly around the neck. Pain ought to make us more like a sick child than a hurt bird. Dan Foster. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Though thou with clouds of anger do disguise Thy face; yet through that mask I know those eyes, Which, though they turn away sometimes, They never will despise. John Donne, \"A Hymn to Christ\". -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Everything difficult indicates something more than our theory of life yet embraces. George MacDonald. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Paul W. Brand, the noted leprosy expert who was chief of the rehabilitation branch of the Leprosarium in Carville, Lousiana, had a frightening experience one night when he thought he had contracted leprosy. Dr. Brand arrived in London one night after an exhausting transatlantic ocean trip and long train ride from the English coast. He was getting ready for bed, had taken off his shoes, and as he pulled off a sock, discovered there was no feeling in his heel. To most anyone else this discovery would have meant very little, a momentary numbness. But Dr. Brand was world famous for his restorative surgery on lepers in India. He had convinced himself and his staff at the leprosarium that there was no danger of infection from leprosy after it reached a certain stage. The numbness in his heel terrified him. In her biography of Dr. Brand, Ten Fingers for God, Dorothy Clarke Wilson says, \"He rose mechanically, found a pin, sat down again, and pricked the small area below his ankle. He felt no pain. He thrust the pin deeper, until a speck of blood showed. Still he felt nothing...He supposed, like other workers with leprosy, he had always half expected it...In the beginning probably not a day had gone by without the automatic searching of his body for the telltale patch, the numbed area of skin.\" All that night the great orthopedic surgeon tried to imagine his new life as a leper, an outcast, his medical staff\'s confidence in their immunity shattered by his disaster. And the forced separation from his family. As night receded, he yielded to hope and in the morning, with clinical objectivity, \"with steady fingers he bared the skin below his ankle, jabbed in the point--and yelled.\" Blessed was the sensation of pain! He realized that during the long train ride, sitting immobile, he had numbed a nerve. From then on, whenever Dr. Brand cut his finger, turned an ankle, even when he suffered from \"agonizing nausea as his whole body reacted in violent self-protection from mushroom poisoning, he was to respond with fervent gratitude, \'Thank God for pain!\'\" Dorothy Clarke Wilson, Ten Fingers for God, pp. 142-145. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Pain is not good in itself. What is good in any painful experience is, for the sufferer, his submission to the will of God, and, for the spectators, the compassion aroused and the acts of mercy to which it leads. C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The story is told about the baptism of King Aengus by St. Patrick in the middle of the fifth century. Sometime during the rite, St. Patrick leaned on his sharp-pointed staff and inadvertently stabbed the king\'s foot. After the baptism was over, St. Patrick looked down at all the blood, realized what he had done, and begged the king\'s forgiveness. Why did you suffer this pain in silence, the Saint wanted to know. The king replied, \"I thought it was part of the ritual.\" Source Unknown. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PANTHEISM
PANTHEISM As pantheists readily admit, they believe that there is no real difference between good and evil \"on the highest level of consciousness.\" The absurd consequences of this are vividly illustrated by the late Francis Schaeffer: \"One day I was talking to a group of people in the digs of a young South African in Cambridge. Among others, there was present a young Indian who was of Sikh background but a Hindu by religion. He started to speak strongly against Christianity, but did not really understand the problems of his own beliefs. So I said, \"Am I not correct in saying that on the basis of your system, cruelty and non-cruelty are ultimately equal, that there is no intrinsic difference between them?\" He agreed...the student in whose room we met, who had clearly understood the implications of what the Sikh had admitted, picked up his kettle of boiling water with which he was about to make tea, and stood with it steaming over the Indian\'s head. The man looked up and asked him what he was doing and he said, with a cold yet gentle finality, \"There is no difference between cruelty and non-cruelty.\" Thereupon the Hindu walked out into the night.\" Quoted by Norman Geisler in False Gods of Our Time, pp. 85-86.
PARALYSIS
PARALYSIS Between the great things that we cannot do and the small things we will not do, the danger is that we shall do nothing. Adolph Monod.
PARDON
PARDON An item in the May 2, 1985, Kansas City Times reminds us of a story you may be able to use in an evangelistic message. The item had to do with the attempt by some fans of O. Henry, the short-story writer, to get a pardon for their hero, who was convicted in 1898 of embezzling $784.08 from the bank where he was employed. But you cannot give a pardon to a dead man. A pardon can only be given to someone who can accept it. Now, for the story: Back in 1830 George Wilson was convicted of robbing the U.S. Mail and was sentenced to be hanged. President Andrew Jackson issued a pardon for Wilson, but he refused to accept it. The matter went to Chief Justice Marshall, who concluded that Wilson would have to be executed. \"A pardon is a slip of paper,\" wrote Marshall, \"the value of which is determined by the acceptance of the person to be pardoned. If it is refused, it is no pardon. George Wilson must be hanged.\" For some, the pardon comes too late. For others, the pardon is not accepted. Prokope, V. 11, #5. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PARENTING
PARENTING In the 1950s a psychologist, Stanton Samenow, and a psychiatrist, Samuel Yochelson, sharing the conventional wisdom that crime is caused by environment, set out to prove their point. They began a 17-year study involving thousands of hours of clinical testing of 250 inmates here in the District of Columbia. To their astonishment, they discovered that the cause of crime cannot be traced to environment, poverty, or oppression. Instead, crime is the result of individuals making, as they put it, wrong moral choices. In their 1977 work The Criminal Personality, they concluded that the answer to crime is a \"conversion of the wrong-doer to a more responsible lifestyle.\" In 1987, Harvard professors James Q. Wilson and Richard J. Herrnstein came to similar conclusions in their book Crime and Human Nature. They determined that the cause of crime is a lack of proper moral training among young people during the morally formative years, particularly ages one to six. Christianity Today, August 16, 1993, p. 30. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- According to a recent study, young men with high self-esteem shared some common childhood influences. There were three major characteristics of their families. (1) The high-esteem group was clearly more loved and appreciated at home than the low-esteem group. (2) The high-esteem group came from homes where parents had been significantly more strict in their approach to discipline. By contrast, the parents of the low-esteem group had created insecurity and dependence through their permissiveness. Their children were more likely to feel that the rules were not enforced because no one cared enough to get involved. (3) The homes of the high-esteem group were also characterized by democracy and openness. Once the boundaries were established, there was freedom for individual personalities to grow and develop. Thus, the overall atmosphere was marked by acceptance and emotional safety. Dr. James Dobson, Focus of the Family Bulletin, July 1994. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Undoubtedly, the most stressful time for any couple is parenthood. Carolyn and Philip Cowan, psychologists with the University of California, Berkeley, found that 92 percent of new parents report more conflict and lower satisfaction. Pennsylvania State psychologist Jay Belsky, who has just completed a seven-year study of 250 sets of new parents, finds that only 19 percent say their marriages improved after the birth of a child. Couples usually look forward to the birth of a baby as a time of closeness, but Belsky found that nearly all new parents grew more polarized and self-centered in response to the fatigue and strain. Difficult transitions like parenthood are also the times when spouses are most vulnerable to an extramarital affair, find psychologists Tom Wright and Shirley Glass. But more often than not, Glass and Wright find, having an affair says more about the individual than the marriage. Spouses with loving marriages but with an excessive need for admiration or thrills are notorious for extramarital dalliances. But even for more regular folks, taking on new roles makes one ripe for philandering. \"Even given a rich, happy marriage, it\'s often easier to form a new image in the eyes of someone new,\" says Glass. \"Trying to change your identity inside a marriage is akin to the new CEO of a major company visiting his parents, only to find they still see him as the baby of the family.\" An affair is arguably the most shocking blow to a marriage. Yet study after study finds that wayward spouses are quite happy with their love life at home, both the quantity and quality -- as happy, in fact, as their faithful counterparts. Psychologists are divided about the ramifications of an affair. \"I liken an affair to the shattering of a Waterford crystal vase,\" says Gootman. \"You can glue it back together, but it will never sing again.\" But Glass and Wright, currently studying couples recovering from affairs, find that not only do two thirds decide to stay together, but many report a newfound richness and closeness gained through conquering the ordeal together. Perhaps the best ideas about what keeps a marriage alive through thick and thin come from couples who, after decades of marriage, bask in blissful unions. Berkeley psychologist Robert Levenson is now in the process of studying pairs who have been together 40 years or more. So far, reports from the front indicate that these couples are masters in soothing one another and preventing each other\'s distress during conflict. These enduring couples also display a distinctly mellowed approach to marital differences, with far less conflict and far more pleasure than younger couples. And as a couple ages, gender differences appear to fade away, replaced by a more unified view of marriage and life. A nice ending to a bumpy ride. U.S. News & World Report, February 21, 1994, pp. 68-69. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Columnist Ellen Goodman wrote a powerful editorial on this topic, a portion of which follows: Sooner or later; most Americans become card-carrying members of the counterculture. This is not an underground holdout of Hippies. No beads are required. All you need to join is a child. At some point between Lamaze and PTA, it becomes clear that one of your main jobs as a parent is to counter the culture. What the media deliver to children by the masses, you are expected to rebut one at a time. But it occurs to me now that the call for \"parental responsibility\" is increasing in direct proportion to the irresponsibility of the marketplace. Parents are expected to protect their children from an increasingly hostile environment. Are the kids being sold junk food? Just say no. Is TV bad? Turn it off. Are there messages about sex, drugs, violence all around? Counter the culture. Mothers and fathers are expected to screen virtually every aspect of their children\'s lives. To check the ratings on the movies, to read the labels on the CDs, to find out if there\'s MTV in the house next door. All the while keeping in touch with school and in their free time, earning a living. Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, a research associate at the Institute for American Values, found this out in interviews with middle-class parents. \"A common complaint I heard from parents was their sense of being overwhelmed by the culture. They felt relatively more helpless than their parents.\" \"Parents,\" she notes, \"see themselves in a struggle for the hearts and minds of their own children.\" It isn\'t that they can\'t say no. It\'s that there\'s so much more to say no to. Without wallowing in false nostalgia, there has been a fundamental shift. Americans once expected parents to raise their children in accordance with the dominant cultural messages. Today they are expected to raise their children in opposition. Once the chorus of cultural values was full of ministers, teachers, neighbors, leaders. They demanded more conformity, but offered more support. Now the messengers are Ninja Turtles, Madonna, rap groups, and celebrities pushing sneakers. Parents are considered \"responsible\" only if they are successful in their resistance. It\'s what makes child-raising harder. It\'s why parents feel more isolated. It\'s not just that American families have less time with their kids, it\'s that we have to spend more of this time doing battle with our own culture. It\'s rather like trying to get your kids to eat their green beans after they\'ve been told all day about the wonders of Milky Way. Come to think of it, it\'s exactly like that. Ellen Goodman, \"Battling Our Culture Is Parents\' Task,\" Chicago Tribune, August 18, 1993. Focus on the Family Newsletter, February, 1994. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- With divorce and dual careers, parents spend 40% less time with their children than parents did a generation ago. Charles Colson, Christianity Today, March 7, 1994, p. 80. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Concerned that his students were not really learning the material, an algebra teacher sent a note home to parents, asking them not to do any to the homework assigned to their children. The next day, one student turned in a reply from his parents: \"Dear Mr. Wood, we are flattered that you think we could.\" Source Unknown. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Americans are so shaped and stamped by their legacy of individualism that the concepts of community virtue and moral obligation have been discredited In our popular culture, adulthood is too often defined as doing what you want to do, not what you are supposed to do. Making a baby is a sign of status, while caring for one is not. Right and wrong are old-fashioned, politically incorrect concepts. And sin? Forget it. The problem doesn\'t end with ghetto kids getting pregnant and going on welfare. Half of all Americans who marry and have children eventually divorce. For many, marriage is more like a hobby than a commitment, a phase instead of a trust. We are becoming a country of deadbeat dads who don\'t pay their bills and dead-tired moms who work two jobs to pick up the slack. Even many parents who pay for their children don\'t pay attention to their children. In so doing, they miss out on some of life\'s greatest joys: hearing a small giggle or holding a small hand. As Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders notes, it is easier for many children to find drugs \"than it is for them to find hugs.\" Probably the best thing that society can do for its toddlers is to make \"parent\" an honorable title again. No job is more important, yet no job is more often taken for granted. We teach work skills but not life skills, how to change a carburetor but not a diaper, how to treat a customer but not a kid. Becoming a parent should be the result of love, not just sex; a sign of a lasting relationship, not just a passing infatuation; a source of pride, and not remorse. Only then will our children be safe. Steven V. Roberts, U.S. News and World Report, April 25, 1994, p. 11. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Owne Wister, an old college friend of Theodore Roosevelt, was visiting him at the White House. Roosevelt\'s daughter Alice kept running in and out of the room until Wister finally asked if there wasn\'t something Roosevelt could do to control her. \"Well,\" said the President, \"I can do one of two things. I can be President of the United States or I can control Alice. I cannot possibly do both.\" Bits & Pieces, December 9, 1993, p. 16. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In his recent book The Future of the American Family (Moody, 1993), George Barna noted the following, \"According to a nationwide survey conducted by the Los Angeles Times in 1990, most parents (56%) feel guilty about not spending enough time with their children\" (p. 171). In the same chapter Barna noted, \"A study in 1991 by the National Commission on Children reported that six out of ten parents want to spend more time with their families\" (p 172). George Barna, The Future of the American Family, pp. 171-172. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- \"Father, what is sex sin?\" My father turned to look at me, as he always did when answering a question, but to my surprise he said nothing. At last he stood up, lifted his traveling case from the rack over our heads, and set it on the floor. \"Will you carry it off the train, Corrie?\" he said. I stood up and tugged at it. It was crammed with the watches and spare parts he had purchased that morning. \"It\'s too heavy,\" I said. \"Yes,\" he said. \"And it would be a pretty poor father who would ask his little girl to carry such a load. It\'s the same way, Corrie, with knowledge. Some knowledge is too heavy for children. When you are older and stronger you can bear it. For now you must trust me to carry it for you.\" And I was satisfied. More than satisfied -- wonderfully at peace. There were answers to this and all my hard questions -- but now I was content to leave them in my father\'s keeping. Corrie ten Boom, The Hiding Place. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Writer Charles Swindoll once found himself with too many commitments in too few days. He got nervous and tense about it. \"I was snapping at my wife and our children, choking down my food at mealtimes, and feeling irritated at those unexpected interruptions through the day,\" he recalled in his book Stress Fractures. \"Before long, things around our home started reflecting the patter of my hurry-up style. It was becoming unbearable. \"I distinctly remember after supper one evening, the words of our younger daughter, Colleen. She wanted to tell me something important that had happened to her at school that day. She began hurriedly, \'Daddy, I wanna tell you somethin\' and I\'ll tell you really fast.\' \"Suddenly realizing her frustration, I answered, \'Honey, you can tell me -- and you don\'t have to tell me really fast. Say it slowly.\" \"I\'ll never forget her answer: \'Then listen slowly.\'\" Bits & Pieces, June 24, 1993, pp. 13-14. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- When the 10-year-olds in Mrs. Imogene Frost\'s class at the Brookside, N.J. Community Sunday School expressed their views of \"What\'s wrong with grownups?\" they came up with these complaints: 1. Grownups make promises, then they forget all about them, or else they say it wasn\'t really a promise, just a maybe. 2. Grownups don\'t do the things they\'re always telling the children to do--like pick up their things, or be neat, or always tell the truth. 3. Grownups never really listen to what children have to say. They always decide ahead of time what they\'re going to answer. 4. Grownups make mistakes, but they won\'t admit them. They always pretend that they weren\'t mistakes at all--or that somebody else made them. 5. Grownups interrupt children all the time and think nothing of it. If a child interrupts a grownup, he gets a scolding or something worse. 6. Grownups never understand how much children want a certain thing--a certain color or shape or size. If it\'s something they don\'t admire--even if the children have spent their own money for it--they always say, \"I can\'t imagine what you want with that old thing!\" 7. Sometimes grownups punish children unfairly. It isn\'t right if you\'ve done just some little thing wrong and grownups take away something that means an awful lot to you. Other times you can do something really bad and they say they\'re going to punish you, but they don\'t. You never know, and you ought to know. 8. Grownups are always talking about what they did and what they knew when they were 10 years old--but they never try to think what it\'s like to be 10 years old right now. J. A. Petersen (Ed.), For Families Only, 1977, p. 253. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I gave you life, but I cannot live it for you. I can teach you things but I cannot make you learn. I can give you directions but I cannot always be there to lead you. I can allow you freedom but I cannot account for it. I can take you to church but I cannot make you believe. I can teach you right from wrong but I can\'t always decide for you. I can buy you beautiful clothes but I cannot make you lovely inside. I can offer you advice but I cannot accept it for you. I can give you love but I cannot force it upon you. I can teach you to be a friend but I cannot make you one. I can teach you to share but I cannot make you unselfish. I can teach you respect but I can\'t force you to show honor. I can grieve about your report card but I cannot doubt your teachers. I can advise you about friends but I cannot choose them for you. I can teach you about sex but I cannot keep you pure. I can tell you the facts of life but I can\'t build your reputation. I can tell you about drink but I can\'t say NO for you. I can warn you about drugs but I can\'t prevent you from using them. I can tell you about lofty goals, but I can\'t achieve them for you. I can teach you kindness, but I can\'t force you to be gracious. I can warn you about sins but I cannot make your morals I can love you as a daughter or son but I cannot place you in God\'s Family. I can pray for you but I cannot make you walk with God. I can teach you about Jesus but I cannot make HIM your Saviour. I can teach you to OBEY but I cannot make Jesus Your Lord. I can tell you how to live but I cannot give you Eternal Life. Source Unknown. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - Day care during infancy is associated with \"deviations\" in the expected course of emotional development. - Infants placed in twenty or more hours of day care per week avoid their mothers and are insecurely attached; some have attachment problems with both mothers and fathers. - Children placed in day care receive less adult attention, communicate less, receive and display less affection, are more aggressive, and are less responsive to adults. - Compared with children who were cared for by their mothers as preschoolers, third-graders who were placed in day care as preschoolers are viewed more negatively by their peers, have lower academic grades, and demonstrate poorer study skills. Steve Farrar, Family Survival in the American Jungle, 1991, Multnomah Press, p. 105. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Boutros Boutros-Ghali, the first African Secretary General of the United Nations, has more than a passing interest in politics. His grandfather, Boutros Ghali, the only Christian prime minister of Egypt, was shot by an assassin in 1910. Cairo crowds hailed his Moslem killer, but the family did not intend anyone to forget the grandfather. They adopted his given name, Boutros (Peter), and anointed the new grandchild with the same given name. The family then built a church in Cairo to honor the martyred patriarch. \"On his tomb were the words \'God is witness that I served my country to the best of my ability,\'\" says Boutros-Ghali. \"For a boy to grow up with such things creates an impact. I felt I would betray the tradition of our family if I didn\'t play a political role.\" Stanley Meisler, Reader\'s Digest. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A group of expectant fathers were in a waiting room, while their wives were in the process of delivering babies. A nurse came in and announced to one man that his wife had just given birth to twins. \"That\'s quite a coincidence\" he responded, \"I play for the Minnesota Twins!\" A few minutes later another nurse came in and announced to another man that he was the father of triplets. \"That\'s amazing,\" he exclaimed, \"I work for the 3M company.\" At that point, a third man slipped off his chair and laid down on the floor. Somebody asked him if he was feeling ill. \"No,\" he responded, \"I happen to work for the 7-Up company.\" Source Unknown. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Every conscientious parent recognizes how difficult it is to exercise his God-given authority over his children. The delicate balance of being tough yet tender is not easy to maintain. Many parents intensify a rebellious spirit by being dictatorial and harsh. Others yield when their authority is tested. When a strong-willed child resists, the pressure to give in for the sake of peace and harmony can become overpowering. I am reminded of the mother who wanted to have the last word but couldn\'t handle the hassle that resulted whenever she said no to her young son. After an especially trying day, she finally flung up her hands and shouted, \"All right, Billy, do whatever you want! Now let me see you disobey THAT!\" Our Daily Bread. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do toy makers watch the divorce rate? When it rises, so do toy sales. According to the analyzers, four parents and eight grandparents tend to compete for children\'s affections, so buy toys. L.M. Boyd, Spokesman Review, March 15, 1993. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You can have a brighter child, it all depends on your expectations. Before you\'re tempted to say, \"Not true,\" let me tell you about Harvard social psychologist Robert Rosenthal\'s classic study. All the children in one San Francisco grade school were given a standard I.Q. test at the beginning of the school year. The teachers were told the test could predict which students could be expected to have a spurt of academic and intellectual functioning. The researchers then drew names out of a hat and told the teachers that these were the children who had displayed a high potential for improvement. Naturally, the teachers thought they had been selected because of their test performance and began treating these children as special children. And the most amazing thing happened -- the spurters, spurted! Overall, the \"late blooming\" kids averaged four more I.Q. points on the second test that the other group of students. However, the gains were most dramatic in the lowest grades. First graders whose teachers expected them to advance intellectually jumped 27.4 points, and the second grade spurters increased on the average 16.5 points more than their peers. One little Latin-American child who had been classified as mentally retarded with an I.Q. of 61, scored 106 after his selection as a late bloomer. Isn\'t this impressive! It reminds me of what Eliza Doolittle says in My Fair Lady, \"The difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she is treated.\" You see, how a child is treated has a lot to do with how that child sees herself and ultimately behaves. If a child is treated as a slow learner and you don\'t expect much, the child shrugs her shoulders and says, \"Why should I try, nobody thinks I can do it anyway!\" And she gives up. But if you look at that child as someone who has more potential than she will ever be able to develop, you will challenge that child, work with her through discouragement, and find ways to explain concepts so the child can understand. You won\'t mind investing time in the child because you know your investment is going to pay off! And the result? It does! So, what\'s the message for parents? Just this: Every child benefits from someone who believes in him, and the younger the child, the more important it is to have high expectations. You may not have an Einstein, but your child has possibilities! Expect the best and chances are, that\'s exactly what you\'ll get. Kay Kuzma, Family Times, Vol. 1, No. 3, Fall, 1992, p. 1. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The fame and popularity of Danish writer Hans Christian Andersen rested largely on his children\'s fairy tales, written over a period of some 37 years and translated into scores of languages. Andersen was well aware of this fact -- so much so that late in life, he told the musician who was to compose a march for his funeral, \"Most of the people who will walk after me will be children, so make the beat keep time with little steps.\" Today in the Word, January 15, 1993. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Property Laws of a Toddler (Evidences of Original Sin) Test this on the toddlers in your home or church this Christmas! 1. If I like it, it\'s mine. 2. If it\'s in my hand, it\'s mine. 3. If I can take it from you, it\'s mine. 4. If I had it a little while ago, it\'s mine. 5. If it\'s mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way. 6. If I\'m doing or building something, all the pieces are mine. 7. If it looks just like mine, it\'s mine. 8. If I saw it first, it\'s mine. 9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine. 10. If it\'s broken, it\'s yours. Deb Lawrence, Missionary to the Philippines with SEND International, quoted in Prokope, November/December, 1992, p. 3. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Prevention is better than correction, suggests an English study of criminal behavior, and the key may be better training for parents. The Cambridge Study of Delinquent Development tracked 411 London males from ages 8 to 32. It found that a man was most likely to be convicted of criminal behavior if he\'d experienced the following between the ages of 8 and 11: - a broken home - low family income - poor housing - antisocial parents and siblings - poor parental supervision - harsh, erratic child-rearing behavior - delinquent friends - problems in school The study suggests that better training for the parents of young boys, as well as improved preschools, might go a long way toward reducing future crime rates. YouthWorker Update, Signs of the Times, November, 1992, p. 6. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- No Time to Play My precious boy with the golden hair Came up one day beside my chair And fell upon his bended knee And said, \"Oh, Mommy, please play with me!\" I said, \"Not now, go on and play; I\'ve got so much to do today.\" He smiled through tears in eyes so blue When I said, \"We\'ll play when I get through.\" But the chores lasted all through the day And I never did find time to play. When supper was over and dishes done, I was much too tired for my little son. I tucked him in and kissed his cheek And watched my angel fall asleep. As I tossed and turned upon my bed, Those words kept ringing in my head, \"Not now, son, go on and play, I\'ve got so much to do today.\" I fell asleep and in a minute\'s span, My little boy is a full-grown man. No toys are there to clutter the floor; No dirty fingerprints on the door; No snacks to fix; no tears to dry; The rooms just echo my lonely sigh. And now I\'ve got the time to play; But my precious boy is gone away. I awoke myself with a pitiful scream And realized it was just a dream For across the room in his little bed, Lay my curly-haired boy, the sleepy-head. My work will wait \'till another day For now I must find some time to play. Dianna (Mrs. Joe) Neal. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- That Age-Old Question by Phil Callaway It\'s a lazy Sunday afternoon, and my 5-year-old son, Stephen, and I are sprawled across the couch. I\'m reading aloud from C.S. Lewis\' Chronicles of Narnia, and my boy is lapping up every word. With each page, he studies my every inflection. Ah, quality time. \"Daddy,\" my blond son interrupts. \"You\'re getting old.\" \"What did you say, Stephen?\" \"You kinda look like Grandpa,\" he replies. My son\'s blue eyes are scrutinizing me, searching for signs of age. \"What do you mean, I look like Grandpa?\" I try to remain calm, but inside I\'m losing it. \"You have lines on your head.\" \"No, I don\'t...Do I?\" \"Yep.\" \"Where?\" \"Here, Here and here. You\'re getting old.\" Oh, boy. I didn\'t need to hear this. \"Do you think I\'m going to die soon, Stephen?\" \"I don\'t know. How many are you?\" \"I\'m 30 years old. Remember? I just blew out 30 candles on my cake -- or at least, most of them? \"How many is 30?\" \"Well, it\'s this many three times,\" I say, showing him my hands with all the fingers outstretched. His blue eyes are really big now. \"Yep, you\'re old.\" Now, I realize it doesn\'t take a rocket scientist to determine that the crown of my head bears a striking resemblance to a mosquito landing zone. But until now, I thought I was doing all right. After all, 40 years is old, not 30. No way. As I straighten up on the couch, the sad truth begins to sink in: I am 30. Three-oh, no longer a kid. No longer do the neighborhood children call me \"Phil.\" To them, I\'m \"Mr. Callaway.\" The college and up-and-coming pro athletes aren\'t my contemporaries. They\'re kids. What do I have to show for three decades on plant earth? It\'s not incredible wealth. We have a car that\'s paid for, but the house is a rental. Like most folks, we\'re just plugging along. Now that I\'m \"old,\" I realize wealth is not measured in things you can touch. Fame never got anyone to heaven. What is worth leaving is my faith in Jesus Christ. Yes, Stephen, that is what I want to leave you. We are rich, my son. Rich in relationships. Rich in memories. Rich in fun. I may not look that good in the will, but for someone approaching retirement age at light speed, it\'s worth smiling about. Phil Callaway, Focus on the Family, September, 1992, p. 13. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Some Minimum Daily Requirements by Charles White Your child\'s journey from 4 to 14 is very short. Christian parents need to put God into each day during this impressionable time. As a father of five foster children and a preschool teacher for 10 years, I\'m convinced that the following practices -- instilled early -- can teach children to hold onto God during the difficult adolescent period: - Hang a picture of Christ in each child\'s bedroom. Children are often quicker to respond to pictures than to words. - Teach your child how to pray. By the time a child is 5, he should be able to speak one-sentence prayers with a parent. By the time he\'s 6, he should be looking for answers to his prayers. But avoid correcting a child\'s prayers. They are between him and God. - Bless your child each morning. If you want to see sudden dramatic improvement in your family and young children, try this. I admit it sounds formal, but it\'s been a miracle for many. Place one hand on the shoulder or head and repeat a blessing from Scripture, such as one of the following: \"May the Lord bless you and keep you and make His face to shine upon you and give you peace\" (Num. 6:24-26) or \"May God strengthen you with power through His spirit in your inner being so that Christ may dwell in your heart through faith\" (Eph. 3:16). You can also choose your own words. The spirit of the blessing impresses even the youngest children. Giving a blessing can also renew a parent\'s heart. - Take short walks. Get outside to God\'s world as much as possible. You can identify trees, capture bugs and look at scenery. Let creation declare the glory of God. - Purchase Scripture cards from your Christian bookstore and leave them on the kitchen table. Reading from God\'s Word as part of the mealtime prayer is a great way to remind the family of God\'s presence. - Display your child\'s Sunday school lesson. Letting a youngster\'s efforts die a painful death on the car floor can leave hurt feelings. Of course, none of these efforts is a guarantee that your daughter or son will know God. But incorporating some of these ideas will be a daily reminder of His presence and love. Charles White, Focus on the Family, September, 1992, p. 13. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I would love my wife/husband more. In the closeness of family life it is easy to take each other for granted and let a dullness creep in that can dampen even the deepest love. So, I would love the mother/father of my children more and be freer in letting them see that love. I would develop feelings of belonging. If children do not feel that they belong in the family, they will soon find their primary group elsewhere. I would use meal times more to share happenings of the day instead of hurrying through them. I\'d find more time for games or projects which all could join. I would laugh more with my children. The best way to make children good is to make them happy. I see now that I was, many times, far too serious. I must always be careful that I do not communicate that being a parent is a constant problem. I would be a better listener. I believe that there is a vital link between listening to children\'s concerns when they are young and the extent to which they will share their concerns with their parents when they are older. I would do more encouraging. There is probably nothing that stimulates children to love life and seek accomplishment more than sincere praise when they have done well. I would try to share God more intimately. We are not whole persons when we stress only the physical, social and intellectual aspects of life. We are spiritual beings, and if the world is to know God and his will, parents must be the primary conveyors. For my part, I would strive to share my faith with my children, using informal settings and unplanned happenings as occasions to speak of my relationship with God. John Drescher, Content The Newsletter Newsletter, August, 1990, p. 3. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The man in the supermarket was pushing a cart which contained, among other things, a screaming baby. As the man proceeded along the aisles, he kept repeating softly, \"Keep calm, George. Don\'t get excited, George. Don\'t get excited, George. Don\'t yell, George.\" A lady watching with admiration said to the man, \"You are certainly to be commended for your patience in trying to quiet little George.\" \"Lady,\" he declared, \"I\'m George.\" Source Unknown. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- There\'s an old story about two young children who were standing on the corner, bragging about who had moved from state to state the most. One little boy said, \"My family has moved three times in the last three years.\" \"Hey!\" said the other little boy. \"That\'s nothing. My parents have moved five times this year -- and I found them every time!\" It\'s safe to say that this second boy came from a home without a strong sense of belonging. G. Smalley and John Trent, Ph.D., The Gift of Honor, p. 89. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Harry S. Truman: I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it. Reader\'s Digest. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Percentage of American teens who say they want to be like their parents: 39% Charis Conn, (Ed.), What Counts: The Complete Harper\'s Index. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Children today average 17 hours a week with Mom and Dad--40 percent less time than children spent with their parents in 1965. And they spend more than 25 hours a week watching television. Los Angeles Times, quoted in Signs of the Times, May 1992. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Women who never have children enjoy the equivalent of an extra three months a year in leisure time, says Susan Lang, author of Women Without Children. If that figure seems high, remember that the average mother spends 3.5 more hours a week doing housework than would a woman without children, plus 11 hours a week on child-related activities. This adds up to an additional 754 hours of work every year--the equivalent of three months of 12-hour, 5-day work weeks. Signs of the Times, May, 1992, p. 6. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- \'Twas a sheep, not a lamb, that strayed away in the parable Jesus told. A grown-up sheep that had gone astray from the ninety and nine in the fold. Out on the hillside, out in the cold, \'twas a sheep the Good Shepherd sought; And back to the flock, safe into the fold, \'twas a sheep the Good Shepherd brought. And why for the sheep should we earnestly long and as earnestly hope and pray? Because there is danger, if they go wrong, they will lead the lambs astray. For the lambs will follow the sheep, you know, wherever the sheep may stray; When the sheep go wrong, it will not be long till the lambs are as wrong as they. And so with the sheep we earnestly plead, for the sake of the lambs today; If the sheep are lost, what terrible cost some of the lambs will have to pay! Source Unknown. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Writing for the New York Times Magazine, Mauren Dowd and Thomas L. Friedman describe a conversation that once took place between Secretary of State James Baker and President George Bush. With Egyptian president Hosni Mubarak due to arrive for a state visit, Baker hurried into the Oval Office to brief President Bush, telling him what the sore spots were, what favors would be asked, and what aid would be sought. \"Mubarak is going to ask for money,\" Baker warned Bush before the Egyptian leader entered. \"You\'re going to have to say no.\" \"You tell him he can\'t have any money,\" the president replied. \"Turning down money is dirty work. That\'s your job, Jimmy. I want to do the good stuff.\" Today in the Word, Moody Bible Institute, Jan, 1992, p.21. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In his men\'s seminar, David Simmons, a former cornerback for the Dallas Cowboys, tells about his childhood home. His father, a military man, was extremely demanding, rarely saying a kind word, always pushing him with harsh criticism to do better. The father had decided that he would never permit his son to feel any satisfaction from his accomplishments, reminding him there were always new goals ahead. When Dave was a little boy, his dad gave him a bicycle, unassembled, with the command that he put it together. After Dave struggled to the point of tears with the difficult instructions and many parts, his father said, \"I knew you couldn\'t do it.\" Then he assembled it for him. When Dave played football in high school, his father was unrelenting in his criticisms. In the backyard of his home, after every game, his dad would go over every play and point out Dave\'s errors. \"Most boys got butterflies in the stomach before the game; I got them afterwards. Facing my father was more stressful than facing any opposing team.\" By the time he entered college, Dave hated his father and his harsh discipline. He chose to play football at the University of Georgia because its campus was further from home than any school that offered him a scholarship. After college, he became the second round draft pick of the St. Louis cardinal\'s professional football club. Joe Namath (who later signed with the New York Jets), was the club\'s first round pick that year. \"Excited, \"I telephoned my father to tell him the good news. He said, \'How does it feel to be second?\'\" Despite the hateful feelings he had for his father, Dave began to build a bridge to his dad. Christ had come into his life during college years, and it was God\'s love that made him turn to his father. During visits home he stimulated conversation with him and listened with interest to what his father had to say. He learned for the first time what his grandfather had been like--a tough lumberjack known for his quick temper. Once he destroyed a pickup truck with a sledgehammer because it wouldn\'t start, and he often beat his son. This new awareness affected Dave dramatically. \"Knowing about my father\'s upbringing not only made me more sympathetic for him, but it helped me see that, under the circumstances, he might have done much worse. By the time he died, I can honestly say we were friends.\" Charles Sell, Unfinished Business, Multnomah, 1989, p. 171. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Even when families remain intact, moral instruction is not automatic. A public school survey in Maryland showed that parents spent an average of 15 minutes a week in \"meaningful dialogue\" with their children--children who are left to glean whatever values they can from peers and TV. Senator Dan Coates, Imprimis, Vol. 20, #9, September, 1991. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I learned the idea of Quality Time was an evil lie. Some experts pushed the idea that successful overachievers, those we call Yuppies today, could have children and be guilt-free about the little time they were able to devote to them. The remedy was Quality Time. Sort of like one-minute parenting. It went like this: Be sure to make what little time you are able to spend with your child is Quality Time. What garbage. I\'ve seen the results of kids who were given only Quality Time. The problem is that kids don\'t know the difference. What they need is time--all they can get. Quantity time is quality time, whether you\'re discussing the meaning of the cosmos or just climbing on dad. Jerry Jenkins, Hedges, Wolgemuth & Hyatt, 1989, p. 125. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In an article in Moody Monthly, Craig Massey told about being in a restaurant when he heard an angry father say to his 7 year old son, \"What good are you?\" The boy, who had just spilled his milk, put his head down and said, \"Nothing.\" Years later, Massey said he was disgusted with his own son for a minor infraction. He heard himself ask what he called \"the cruelest question a father can ask.\" He said, \"What are you good for anyway?\" His son replied, \"Nothing.\" Immediately he regretted the question. As he thought about this, he realized that the question was all right but the answer was wrong. A few days later when his son committed another minor offense, he asked, \"What are you good for?\" But before his son could reply, he hugged him and kissed him and said, \"I\'ll tell you what you\'re good for. You\'re good for loving!\" Before long, whenever he asked the question, his son would say, \"I\'m good for loving.\" Craig Massey. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- John Barrymore once played the role of a father who disapproved of the man his daughter planned to marry. In one scene, the daughter had to ask Barrymore what he thought of her fianc? who had just exited. Barrymore was supposed to answer, \"I think he\'s a dirty dog.\" One night, when the bridegroom-to-be walked off stage, he accidentally tipped over a pitcher of water. Barrymore watched in fascination as a puddle formed. A moment later, his daughter asked, \"What do you think of Tom, father?\" \"I think he\'s a dirty dog,\" Barrymore answered. Then he ad-libbed, \"And what\'s more, he isn\'t even housebroken!\" Bits and Pieces, December 13, 1990. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How to Train Your Child to be a Delinquent 1. When your kid is still an infant, give him everything he wants. This way he\'ll think the world owes him a living when he grows up. 2. When he picks up swearing and off-color jokes, laugh at him, encourage him. As he grows up, he will pick up \"cuter\" phrases that will floor you. 3. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait until he is twenty-one and let him decide for himself. 4. Avoid using the word \"wrong.\" It will give your child a guilt complex. You can condition him to believe later, when he is arrested for stealing a car, that society is against him and he is being persecuted. 5. Pick up after him--his books, shoes, and clothes. Do everything for him so he will be experienced in throwing all responsibility onto others. 6. Let him read all printed matter he can get his hands on...[never think of monitoring his TV programs]. Sterilize the silverware, but let him feast his mind on garbage. 7. Quarrel frequently in his presence. Then he won\'t be too surprised when his home is broken up later. 8. Satisfy his every craving for food, drink, and comfort. Every sensual desire must be gratified; denial may lead to harmful frustrations. 9. Give your child all the spending money he wants. Don\'t make him earn his own. Why should he have things as tough as you did? 10. Take his side against neighbors, teachers, and policemen. They\'re all against him. 11. When he gets into real trouble, make up excuses for yourself by saying, \"I never could do anything with him; he\'s just a bad seed.\" 12. Prepare for a life of grief. Swindoll, The Quest For Character, Multnomah, p. 105-6. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The most important thing that parents can teach their children is how to get along without them. Source Unknown. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A father of three won a shouting contest with a roar louder than a passing train. \"If you want a war, you go!\" Yoshihiko Kato shouted. The sound meter registered 115.8 decibels, louder than the racket of a train passing overhead on an elevated railroad. For that winning shout, Kato won the $750 grand prize of the 10th annual Halls Year-End Loud Voice Contest. Kato admitted that he probably built up his loud voice shouting at his children. Resource, Jan/Feb 1991. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Lord, Thank you for this child that I call mine; not my possession but my sacred charge. Teach me patience and humility so that the best I know may flow in its being. Let me always remember, parental love is my natural instinct but my child\'s love must ever be deserved and earned; That for love I must give love, That for understanding I must give understanding, That for respect, I must give respect; That as I was the giver of life, so must I be the giver always. Help me to share my child with life and not to clutch at it for my own sake. Give courage to do my share to make this world a better place for all children and my own. Source Unknown. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In a 6-year survey at a West Coast university, it was found that self-confident, successful people had three things in common: They were loved and valued at home; their homes were democratic; their parents were not permissive. Homemade, July, 1990. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Best recipe for high-achieving and confident children: strong direction and support--not freedom. The latest study found that children who grow up with high control and high support are more confident and better achievers than those raised with high support and low control, or low support and high control, or low support and low control. Dr. Diane Baumrind, in Homemade, May, 1990. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- An author for Reader\'s Digest writes how he studied the Amish people in preparation for an article on them. In his observation at the school yard, he noted that the children never screamed or yelled. This amazed him. He spoke to the schoolmaster. He remarked how he had not once heard an Amish child yell, and asked why the schoolmaster thought that was so. The schoolmaster replied, \"Well, have you ever heard an Amish adult yell?\" Reader\'s Digest. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How to bake a cake: Preheat oven; get out utensils and ingredients. Remove blocks and toy autos from table. Grease pan, crack nuts. Measure two cups of flour, remove baby\'s hands from flour, wash flour off baby, re-measure flour. Put flour, baking power, and salt in sifter. Get dustpan and brush up pieces of bowl baby knocked on the floor. Get another bowl Answer doorbell Return to kitchen, remove baby\'s hands from bowl. Wash baby. Answer phone. Return. Remove one-fourth inch salt from greased pan. Look for baby. Grease another pan. Answer telephone. Return to kitchen and find baby. Remove his hands from bowl. Take up greased pan and find layer of nutshells in it. Head for baby, who flees, knocking bowl off table. Wash kitchen floor, table, walls, dishes. Call baker. Lie down. Source Unknown. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Socrates once wrote: \"Could I climb to the highest places in Athens, I would lift up my voice and proclaim; Fellow citizens, why do you turn and scrape every stone to gather wealth, and take so little care of the children to whom you must someday relinquish it all?\" Socrates. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A born loser is the father whose child appears last in a three hour piano recital. Source Unknown. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Your home is the number one influence in the life of your child. The average church has a child 1% of his time, the home has him 83% of his time and the school for the remaining 16%. This does not minimize the need for churches and schools, but it establishes the fact your home is 83% of your child\'s world and you have only one time around to make it of maximum benefit. Howard Hendricks. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Catch the child being good. Tell the child what behaviors please you. Respond to positive efforts and reinforce good behavior. An observing and sensitive parent will find countless opportunities during the day to make such comments as, \"I like the way you come in for dinner without being reminded; I appreciate your hanging up your clothes even though you were in a hurry to get out to play. Youth Guidance. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I was two or three years old, sitting on the floor of my bedroom trying to get a shirt over my head and around my shoulders, and having an extraordinarily difficult time. I was grunting and sweating, and my mother just stood there and watched. Obviously, I now realize that her arms must have been rigidly at her side; every instinct in her had wanted to reach out and do it for me. Finally, a friend turned to her and said in exasperation, \"Ida, why don\'t you help that child?\" My mother responded through gritted teeth, \"I AM helping him.\" Harold Wilke. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In a survey parents were asked to record how many negative--as opposed to positive--comments they made to their children. Results: they criticized 10 times for every favorable comment. Another survey revealed teachers were 75% negative. It takes four positive statements from a teacher to offset the effects of one negative statement to a child. American Institute of Family Relations, Homemade, August, 1990. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two Harvard researchers, Dr. George Vaillant and Caroline Vaillant, report that success in adulthood is more related to a child\'s capacity to work than to his intelligence, social status or family background. Their study involved 456 men, mostly from Boston working class immigrant families, interviewed periodically from their adolescence up through age 47. The Vaillants discovered that those who worked hardest as children developed into the best-paid and most satisfied family men. Their work as youngsters had usually consisted of household chores, part-time jobs, sports and studies. The least hardworking as youths later encountered more unemployment and unhappiness as well as a higher death rate. Parade, in Homemade, April, 1988. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Training children to obey: In Genesis 2:16 God first outlines the perimeters within which there is freedom. Then he specifies the restriction. Finally he states the consequence of disobedience. If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn. If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight. If a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive. If a child lives with pity, he learns to feel sorry for himself. If a child lives with jealousy, he learns to feel guilty. If a child lives with encouragement, he learn to be self- confident. If a child lives with tolerance, he learn to be patient. If a child lives with praise, he learns to be appreciative. If a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love. If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself. If a child lives with recognition, he learns to have a goal. If a child lives with fairness, he learns what justice is. If a child lives with honesty, he learns what truth is. If a child lives with sincerity, he learns to have faith in himself and those around him. If a child lives with love, he learns that the world is a wonderful place to live in. Source Unknown. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The loving mother teaches her child to walk alone. She is far enough from him so that she cannot actually support him. She holds out her arms. Her face beckons like a reward, an encouragement. The child constantly strives toward a refuge in her embrace, little suspecting that in the very same moment he is emphasizing his need for her, he is proving that he can do without her. Soren Kierkegaard. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- There are two things in life we are never fully prepared for; twins. Source Unknown. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I took a piece of plastic clay And idly fashioned it one day, And as my fingers pressed it still, It moved and yielded to my will. I came again when days were past-- The bit of clay was hard at last; The form I gave it, it still bore, But I could change that form no more. I took a piece of living clay And gently formed it day by day, And molded with my power and art A young child\'s soft and yielding heart. I came again when years were gone-- It was a man I looked upon; He still that early impress wore, And I could change him nevermore. Source Unknown. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Economist Lawrence Olson cited some shocking figures about how expensive it is to raise children. He estimated that the average cost, taking into account low-income and high-income families, to feed, clothe and educate a firstborn son is $226,000. And if that baby happens to be a girl, the expense would be $247,000! Reflecting on those figures, Steven Cole commented, \"If you had $200,000 to invest, wouldn\'t you do some careful research in advance, and then watch that investment very carefully over the years? How much time, study, thought and watchfulness do you exercise over those precious lives in which you invest $200,000?\" Daily Bread, quoted in Homemade, Vol. 11, No. 4, April 1987. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Novelist Pearl Buck told her 16-year old daughter that she wouldn\'t allow her to attend a party of mixed teenagers where there would be no adult supervision. The girl wailed, \"You don\'t trust me!\" Mrs. Buck\'s reply was, \"Of course, I don\'t trust you. I couldn\'t trust myself at 16, 17, 18, or as much farther as you care to go! When you face the fact that you don\'t trust yourself in a situation, the only wisdom is to be careful not to put yourself into that situation.\" Homemade, May, 1989. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Schoolteachers were asked in 1940 to describe the top seven disciplinary problems they faced in the classroom. The problems: talking chewing gum making noise running in the halls wearing improper clothing not putting waste paper in the waste paper basket. In the 1980s, educators were asked the same question by college researchers. Here are the top seven disciplinary problems that modern-day teachers must put up with: rape robbery assault burglary arson bombing murder. Focus on the Family, March, 1987. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Researchers at Johns Hopkins University reported that 30 years ago, the greatest fears of grade school children were: 1) Animals, 2) Being in a dark room, 3) High places, 4) Strangers, 5) Loud noises. Today, kids are afraid of the following: 1) Divorce, 2) Nuclear war, 3) Cancer, 4) Pollution, 5) Being mugged. Back to the Bible Today, Summer, 1990, p. 5. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A parent\'s responsibility is not to his child\'s happiness; it\'s to his character. My father would not have been particularly interested in a book about fathering, although he did like to read. One day when he was reading in the living room, my brother and I decided that we could play basketball without breaking anything. When I took a shot that redesigned the glass table, my mother came in with a stick and said, \"So help me, I\'ll bust you in half.\" Without lifting his head from his book, my father said, \"Why would you want twice as many?\" Bill Cosby, Fatherhood, Doubleday. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Parents rarely know what\'s going on with their kids. Some 36% of parents surveyed said they thought their child had taken a drink, while 66% of students admitted they had...14% of parents thought their child had tried cigarettes, while 41% of students reported they had...5% of parents thought their child had used drugs, while 17% of students actually had. Louis Harris Survey, Homemade, March, 1990. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Often parents say \"no\" only because it simplifies matters. I\'ve made a practice of saying \"yes\" when the consequences are not far-reaching. Then the important \"no\'s\" are considerably easier for teens to accept. Think about why \"no\" is best, and back up your decision with a logical reason. Sally Stuart. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Generational tension is not a phenomenon which erupted in the 60\'s and 70\'s of our century. It is as old as the trouble Adam and Eve had with their two boys. Parents need to remember that. For example, when did this conversation occur? An angry father asks his teenage son, \"Where did you go?\" The boy, trying to sneak home late at night, answers, \"Nowhere.\" \"Grow up,\" the father chides him. \"Stop hanging around the public squares, and wandering up and down the street. Go to school. Night and day you torture me. Night and day you waste your time having fun.\" Was that sharp rebuke administered last night by an irate dad to a defiant juvenile? No, it comes from Sumerian clay tablets 4000 years old. Dr. Vernon Grounds in Homemade, Dec 1984. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 90% would still have children if they \"had it to do over again. Psychology Today, quoted in Homemade, Feb, 1985. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A recent survey by America\'s most popular teen magazine revealed that only 4.1% of the teenage girls in America feel they could to go their father to talk about a serious problem. Even more recently, USA Today published the eye-opening results of a study of teens under stress. When asked where they turn to for help in a crisis, the most popular choice was music, the second choice was peers, and the third was TV. Amazing as it may sound, moms were down the list at number thirty-one, and dads were forty-eighth. Joe White in Homemade, Nov 1989. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The average young teenage American girl views 1500 references to sexual acts on TV annually, according to a study at Michigan State University. Boys of that age view an average of nearly 1300 such and attend 17 R-rated movies annually. According to the teens studied, parents \"never\" or \"not often\" limited their TV viewing. There\'s little indication that parents exercise any control, positive or negative, over TV viewing. Homemade, March, 1989. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PASSION
PASSION I have but one passion; it is He, He only. Count Nikolaus Ludwig von Zinzendorf. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- There is a tale told of that great English actor Macready. An eminent preacher once said to him: \"I wish you would explain to me something.\" \"Well, what is it? I don\'t know that I can explain anything to a preacher.\" \"What is the reason for the difference between you and me? You are appearing before crowds night after night with fiction, and the crowds come wherever you go. I am preaching the essential and unchangeable truth, and I am not getting any crowd at all.\" Macready\'s answer was this: \"This is quite simple. I can tell you the difference between us. I present my fiction as though it were truth; you present your truth as though it were fiction.\" G. Campbell Morgan, Preaching, p. 36. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PAST, living in
PAST, living in One man said to his friend: \"Say, you look depressed. What are you thinking about?\" \"My future,\" was the quick answer. \"What makes it look so hopeless?\" \"My past.\" Christian Medical Society Journal, Winter, 1978, p. 2. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Do not say, \"Why were the former days better than these?\" You do not move ahead by constantly looking in a rear view mirror. The past is a rudder to guide you, not an anchor to drag you. We must learn from the past but not live in the past. Dr. Warren W. Wiersbe. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Men who live in the past remind me of a toy I\'m sure all of you have seen. The toy is a small wooden bird called the \"Floogie Bird.\" Around the Floogie Bird\'s neck is a label reading, \"I fly backwards, I don\'t care where I\'m going. I just want to see where I\'ve been.\" Harry S. Truman. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PAST, overcoming
PAST, overcoming I wish there were some wonderful place called the Land of Beginning Again, Where all of our past mistakes and heartaches, And all of our poor selfish grief, Could be dropped like a shabby old coat at the door And never be put on again. Louisa Tarkington quoted in Putting Your Past Behind You, E. Lutzer, Here\'s Life, 1990, p.13.
PASTORING
PASTORING Three pastors got together for coffee one day and found all their churches had bat-infestation problems. \"I got so mad,\" said one, \"I took a shotgun and fired at them. It made holes in the ceiling, but did nothing to the bats.\" \"I tried trapping them alive,\" said the second. \"Then I drove 50 miles before releasing them, but they beat me back to the church.\" \"I haven\'t had any more problems,\" said the third. \"What did you do?\" asked the others, amazed. \"I simply baptized and confirmed them,\" he replied. \"I haven\'t seen them since.\" Reader\'s Digest, July, 1994, p. 64. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Consider what pastors think about work, home, and lifestyles as reported in a recent survey conducted by Leadership magazine: - 94 percent feel pressured to have an ideal family; - The top four problems in clergy marriages are: 81 percent, insufficient time; 71 percent, use of money; 70 percent, income level; 64 percent, communication difficulties, 63 percent, congregational expectations; and 57 percent, differences over leisure; - 24 percent have received or are receiving marital counseling; - 33 percent of pastors are dissatisfied with the level of sexual intimacy in their marriages; and pastors report 16 percent of their spouses are dissatisfied, which 69 percent blame on their busy schedule, 54 percent on their spouse\'s schedule, and 35 percent on frequent night church meetings.; - 22 percent seek supplemental income to make ends meet; - 28 percent feel current compensation is inadequate; - 69 percent of the spouses work outside the home to make ends meet; - 67 percent of the pastors feel positive about their spouses working outside their home; - 9 percent of clergy have had extramarital affairs; - 19 percent have had inappropriate sexual contact with another person other than their spouse; - 55 percent of clergy have no one with whom they can discuss their sexual temptation. H.B. London, Jr. and Neil B. Wiseman, Pastors at Risk, Victor Books, 1993, pp. 34-35. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This soul-weariness shines through a few lines of sarcasm one minister wrote in his journal: \"If I wanted to drive a manager up the wall, I would make him responsible for the success of an organization and give him no authority. I would provide him with unclear goals, not commonly agreed upon by the organization. I would ask him to provide a service of an ill-defined nature, apply a body of knowledge having few absolutes, and staff his organization with only volunteers. I would expect him to work ten to twelve hours per day and have his work evaluated by a committee of 300 to 500 amateurs. I would call him a minister and make him accountable to God.\" H.B. London, Jr. and Neil B. Wiseman, Pastors at Risk, Victor Books, 1993, pp. 54. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Consider the following sobering survey results of the personal and professional lives of the clergy: - 90% of pastors work more than 46 hours a week - 80% believed that pastoral ministry affected their families negatively - 33% said that being in ministry was an outright hazard to their family - 75% reported a significant stress-related crisis at least once in their ministry - 50% felt unable to meet the needs of the job - 90% felt they were inadequately trained to cope with ministry demands - 70% say they have a lower self-esteem now than when they started out - 40% reported a serious conflict with a parishioner at least once a month - 37% confessed having been involved in inappropriate sexual behavior with someone in the church - 70% do not have someone they consider a close friend. 1991 Survey of Pastors, Fuller Institute of Church Growth, H. B. London, Jr. and Neil B. Wiseman, Pastors at Risk, Victor Books, 1993, p. 22. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Some pastors preach \"longhorn sermons,\" a point here, a point there, and a lot of bull in between. Source Unknown. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- One pastor never prepared during the week, and on Sunday morning he\'d sit on the platform while the church was singing the hymns desperately praying, \"Lord, give your message, Lord give me your message.\" One Sunday, while desperately praying for God\'s message, he heard the Lord say, \"Ralph, here\'s my message. You\'re lazy!\" Source Unknown. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Have you ever heard of the spiritual disease which people in medieval times called accidie? It is something that threatens all Christian workers after the first flush of enthusiasm has worn off. It\'s a form of sloth but not at the physical level. It is apathy of the soul. It shows in a certain toughness of mind and wariness of spirit which often results from hurt and disillusionment. People with accidie in this sense have grown cynical about ideals, enthusiasms, and strong hopes. They look pityingly at young people and say, \"They\'ll learn,\" taking it for granted that when they\'ve learned, they\'ll become tough inside too. Once upon a time these leather-souled people were keen, hopeful, and expectant. But nothing happened, or they got hurt, and now they protect themselves against pain by adopting cynical, world-weary attitudes. If these people are ministers of churches, they work mechanically, merely going through the motions because their light has really gone out and they\'re no longer expecting anything exciting to happen. They feel that they know from experience that exciting things don\'t happen, and that\'s an end of it. So they merely plod on, expecting nothing and receiving nothing. But the Lord does not send us out on his work in order that nothing may happen. His word is intended to have impact; it\'s sent out to accomplish something. We ought never to settle for a non-expectant, defeated attitude. Rather we should be asking and expecting great things from God. James Packer, Your Father Loves You, Harold Shaw Publishers, 1986, p. 10. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The public\'s image of the clergy has hit an all-time low, with just a bare majority now rating them \"very high\" (15 percent) or \"high\" (39 percent) in honesty and ethical standards. One person in three (33 percent) considers clergy ethics to be just average, while 7 percent say they are \"low,\" and 2 percent consider them \"very low.\" In spite of this, members of the clergy are charted second only to pharmacists for honesty and ethics. Physicians, college teachers, dentists, and engineers are next in rank, while journalists, bankers, lawyers, members of Congress, and car salesmen are rated near the bottom. Emerging Trends, Signs of the Times, August, 1993, p. 6. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ten Basic Statements about ministry: 1. The foundation of ministry is character. 2. The nature of ministry is service. 3. The motive for ministry is love. 4. The measure of ministry is sacrifice. 5. The authority of ministry is submission. 6. The purpose of ministry is the glory of God. 7. The tools of ministry are the Word and prayer. 8. The privilege of ministry is growth. 9. The power of ministry is the Holy Spirit. 10. The model for ministry is Jesus Christ Warren and David Wiersbe, in Making Sense of the Ministry. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Robert Murray McCheyne wrote to Dan Edwards after the latter\'s ordination as a missionary, \"In great measure, according to the purity and perfections of the instrument, will be the success. It is not great talents God blesses so much as great likeness to Jesus. A holy minister is an awful weapon in the hand of God\". Paul Borthwick, Leading the Way, Navpress, 1989, p. 65. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you knew you could not fail, what would you attempt to do for the glory of God and the growth of his kingdom? Why should the congregation follow me? 1. Congregational endorsement (they asked me to lead). 2. Biblical--placed by God in a position of leadership (Heb 13, Acts 20:28) 3. Force of example on others--I follow Christ, you follow me. Dependent on closeness of relationship. 4. Expertise--knowledge and training. Source Unknown. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- According to Edward Bratcher, (The Walk on Water Syndrome (Word, 1986, p. 109), \"The typical pastor feels no one cares for him and his development\" and 83% try to comfort themselves instead of seeking outside help. Target, May, 1993, p. 17. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In his book Be Free, Warren W. Wiersby mentioned the fact that young ministers often visited the great British preacher G. Campbell Morgan to ask him the secret of his success. When someone inquired of him what he told these aspiring pastors, Morgan replied, \"I always say to them the same thing -- work; hard work; and again, work!\" And Morgan lived up to his own advice. He would be in his study every morning at 6 o\'clock, finding rich treasures out of his Bible to pass on to God\'s people. Our Daily Bread. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Parishioners hard pressed for something to say to the clergy after the service have, according to one minister\'s friend said to him, \"You always manage to find something to fill up the time.\" \"I don\'t care what they say, I like your sermons.\" \"If I\'d known you were going to be good today I\'d have brought a neighbor.\" \"Did you know there are 243 panes of glass in the windows?\" \"We shouldn\'t make you preach so often.\" Arthur Myers, Berkshire Sampler. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Lutheran newsletter has some tongue-in-cheek suggestions for church members unhappy with their pastor: \"Simply send a copy of this letter to six other churches who are tired of their ministers. Then bundle up your pastor and send him to the church at the top of the list. Add your name to the bottom of the list. In one week you will receive 16,436 ministers, and one of them should be a dandy. Have faith in this letter. One man broke the chain and got his old minister back.\" Source Unknown. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- God give us men...ribbed with the steel of Your Holy Spirit...men who will not flinch when the battle\'s fiercest...men who won\'t acquiesce, or compromise, or fade when the enemy rages. God give us men who can\'t be bought, bartered, or badgered by the enemy, men who will pay the price, make the sacrifice, stand the ground, and hold the torch high. God give us men obsessed with the principles true to your word, men stripped of self-seeking and a yen for security...men who will pay any price for freedom and go any lengths for truth. God give us men delivered from mediocrity, men with vision high, pride low, faith wide, love deep, and patience long...men who will dare to march to the drumbeat of a distant drummer, men who will not surrender principles of truth in order to accommodate their peers. God give us men more interested in scars than medals. More committed to conviction than convenience, men who will give their life for the eternal, instead of indulging their lives for a moment in time. Give us men who are fearless in the face of danger, calm in the midst of pressure, bold in the midst of opposition. God give us men who will pray earnestly, work long, preach clearly, and wait patiently. Give us men whose walk is by faith, behavior is by principle, whose dreams are in heaven, and whose book is the Bible. God give us men who are equal to the task. Those are the men the church needs today. Bob Moorehead, The Growth Factor. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A shepherd feeds guides (sheep go astray) guards (against wolves) heals (the wounds of injured) Between Two Worlds, J.R. Stott, p. 120. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Church Perish There is a pastor, himself he cherished, Who loved his position not his parish So the more he preached The less he reached And this is why his parish perished. Source Unknown. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Prayer by a Bishop for the Members of His Church (Adapted as a Prayer of a Mother for Her Children) Jesus, good Shepherd, they are not mine but Yours, for I am not mine but Yours. I am Yours, Lord, and they are Yours, because by Your wisdom You have created both them and me, and by Your death You have redeemed us. So we are Yours, good Lord, we are Yours, whom You have made with such wisdom and bought so dearly. Then if You commend them to me, Lord, You do not therefore desert me or them. You commend them to me: I commend myself and them to you. Yours is the flock, Lord, and Yours is the shepherd. Be Shepherd of both Your flock and shepherd. You have made an ignorant mother, a blind leader, an erring ruler: teach the mother You have established guide the leader You have appointed, govern the ruler You have approved. I beg you, teach me what I am to teach, lead me in the way that I am to lead, rule me so that I may rule others. Or rather, teach them, and me through them, lead them, and me with them, rule them, and me among them. Anselm 1033-1109), Archbishop of Canterbury, translated by Sister Benedicta Ward, S.L.G. Adapted for mothers by RBG. quoted in Prodigals and Those Who Love Them, Ruth Bell Graham, 1991, Focus on the Family Publishing, pp. 112-113. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The fame and popularity of Danish writer Hans Christian Andersen rested largely on his children\'s fairy tales, written over a period of some 37 years and translated into scores of languages. Andersen was well aware of this fact -- so much so that late in life, he told the musician who was to compose a march for his funeral, \"Most of the people who will walk after me will be children, so make the beat keep time with little steps.\" Today in the Word, January 15, 1993. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A stranger entered the church in the middle of the sermon and seated himself in the back pew. After a while he began to fidget. Leaning over to a white-haired man at his side,evidently an old member of the congregation, he whispered: \"How long has he been preaching?\" \"Thirty or forty years, I think,\" the old man answered. \"I\'ll stay then,\" decided the stranger, \"He must be nearly done.\" The World\'s Best Jokes, Christian Clippings, p. 26. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A minister pleasantly surprised his congregation by delivering a 10-minute sermon instead of the usual 30-minute message. In concluding he explained, \"I regret to inform you, brethren, that my dog, who appears to be inordinately fond of paper, this morning ate that portion of my sermon which I have not delivered. Let us pray.\" After the service a stranger from another church approached the pastor and said, \"Preacher, please let me know if that dog of yours has any pups. If it does, I want to buy one for my minister.\" Christian Clippings, p. 27. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- By many estimates, the 1990s will be a time of continued confusion for clergy. Ministers are \"the most frustrated profession in the nation,\" according to management consultant Peter Drucker...A study prepared by the Episcopal Foundation concluded that \"many old and established patterns for ordained leaders in the church are no longer working.\" Among clergy comments in the study: - The status of clergy is lower. - Clergy are no longer considered to be special people. - I feel pulled apart. Am I a pastor or a businessman? Many clergy, the report said, \"are conceiving a role for themselves like chief executive officers of a multi-level organization, where skilled laity are middle managers.\" Russell Chadler, Racing Toward 2000: The forces Shaping America\'s Religious Future, Harper Collins, Zondervan, pp. 216, 217, Discoveries, Summer, 1992. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Lord has given to every man his work. It is his business to do it, and the devil\'s business to hinder him -- if he can. So, sure as God gives a man a work to do, Satan will try to hinder him. He may present other things more promising; he may allure you by worldly prospect; he may assault you with slander, torment you with false accusations, set you to work defending your character, employ pious persons to lie about you, editors to assail you, and excellent men to slander you. You may have Pilate and Herod, Ananias and Caiaphas all combined against you, and Judas standing by to sell you for 30 pieces of silver. And you may wonder why all these things have come to pass. Can you not see that the whole thing is brought about through the craft of the devil, to draw you off from your work and hinder your obedience to Christ? Keep about your work. Do not flinch because the lion roars. Do not stop to stone the devil\'s dogs. Do not fool around your time chasing the devil\'s rabbits. Do your work; let liars lie; let sectarians quarrel; let editors publish; let the devil do his worst. But see to it that nothing hinders you from fulfilling the work God has given you. He had not sent you to make money; He has not commanded you to get rich. He has never bidden you to defend your character nor has He bidden you to contradict falsehoods about yourself which Satan and his servants may start to peddle. If you do these things you will do nothing else; you will be at work for yourself and not for the Lord. Keep about your work. Let your aim be as steady as a star. Let the world brawl and bubble. You may be assaulted, wrangled, insulted, slandered, wounded, and rejected. You may be chased by foes, abused by them, forsaken by friend, despised and rejected of men, but see to it that with steadfast determination and with unfaltering zeal you pursue that great purpose of your life and the object of your being until at last you can say; \"I have finished the work which you, dear God, have given me to do?\" Pulpit Helps, August, 1992, p. 8. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- \"I\'m convinced that a man\'s commitment to his message is measured by the significance of his words when he has to speak to only a handful of people.\" Howard Hendricks, Say It With Love, p. 73. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How Much Is That Preacher? Good morning, madam. May I help you? Yes, please, I\'d like to buy a minister. For yourself or your church? Oh, for my church, of course. I\'m already married. Uh, yes. Did you have a particular model in mind? I\'ve got a description from the Candidate Committee right here. We want a man about 30, well educated, with some experience. Good preacher and teacher. Balanced personality. Serious, but with a sense of humor. Efficient, but not rigid. Good health. Able to identify with all age groups. And, if possible, sings tenor. Sings tenor? We\'re short of tenors in the choir. I see. Well, that\'s quite a list. How much money did you want to spend? The committee says $9,000. $9,500 tops. Hmmm. Well, perhaps we\'d better start in the bargain basement. Tell me, how much is that model in the window? You mean the one in the Pendleton plaid suit and the gray suede dune boots? Yes, that one. He\'s a real dream. That\'s our Princeton #467. Has a Ph.D. and AKC papers. AKC? American Koinonia Council. He sells for $16,000 plus house. Wow! That\'s too rich for our blood. What about that model over there? Ah, yes. An exceptional buy. Faith #502. He\'s a little older than 30, but has excellent experience. Aggressive. Good heart. Has a backing of sermons, two of which have been printed in Christian Leaders. He\'s not too bad. Can you do something about his bald head? Mrs. Penner especially insists that our minister have some hair. Madam, all our ministers come in a variety of hair styles. Keep him in mind. Now let me show you Olympia #222. Four years of varsity sports at Brass Ring College. Plays football, basketball, volleyball, and Ping-Pong. Comes complete with sports equipment. What a physique! He must weigh 200 pounds! Yes, indeed. You get a lot for your money with this one. And think what he can do for your young people. Great. But how is he at preaching? I must admit he\'s not St. Peter. But you can\'t expect good sermons and a church-wide athletic program too! I suppose not. Still... Let me show you our Fresno #801. Now here\'s a preacher. All his sermons are superb -- well researched, copious anecdotes, and they always have three points. And -- he comes with a full set of the Religious Encyclopedia at no extra charge! You get the whole package for $8,300. He\'s wearing awfully thick glasses. For $220 more we put in contact lenses. I don\'t know. He might study too much. We don\'t want a man who\'s in his office all the time. Of course. How about this minister over here? Comes from a management background. Trained in business operations at Beatitude College. Adept with committees. Gets his work done by 11:30 every morning. His tag says he\'s an IBM 400. Madam, you have a discerning eye. Innovative Biblical Methods. This man will positively revitalize your church. I\'m not sure our church wants to be revitalized. Haven\'t you got something less revolutionary? Well, would you like someone of the social worker type? We have this Ghetto #130. The man with the beard? Good gracious, no. Mrs. Penner would never go for that. How about our Empathy #41C? His forte is counseling. Very sympathetic. Patient. Good with people who have problems. Everyone in our church has problems. But he might not get out and visit new people. We really need a man who does a lot of visitation. You see, all our people are very busy and... Yes, yes, I understand. You want a minister who can do everything well. That\'s it! Haven\'t you got somebody like that? I\'m thinking. In our back room we have a minister who was traded in last week. Excellent man, but he broke down after three years. If you don\'t mind a used model, we can sell him at a reduced price. Well, we had hoped for someone brand-new. We just redecorated the sanctuary, and we wanted a new minister to go with it. Of course. But with a little exterior work, and a fresh suit, this man will look like he just came out of the box. No one will ever know. Let me bring him out and you can look him over. All right. Honestly, this minister shopping is exhausting. It\'s so hard to get your money\'s worth. Tell me, do you also give Green Stamps with the contract? Uh -- no. But if there\'s any dissatisfaction after six months we send a new congregation for the balance of the years. That usually takes care of most problems. Jean Shaw, Don\'t Stand Up in the Canoe: A Fantasy from Life, Zondervan, Grand Rapids. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A minister must be learned, on pain of being utterly incompetent for his work. But before and above being learned, a minister must be godly. Nothing could be more fatal, however, than to set these two things over against one another. Recruiting officers do not dispute whether it is better for soldiers to have a right leg or a left leg: soldiers should have both legs. B.B. Warfield, quoted in Credenda Agenda, Vol. 4/No. 5, p. 16. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I know that preaching the gospel publicly is the best means, because we speak to so many at once. But it is usually far more effective to speak it privately to a particular person. Richard Baxter, The Reformed Pastor. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Not long ago a well-meaning group of laymen came from a neighboring church to se me. They wanted me to advise them on some convenient and painless method of getting rid of their pastor. I\'m afraid, however, that I wasn\'t much help to them. At the time I had not had the occasion to give the matter serious thought. But since then I have pondered the matter a great deal, and the next time anyone comes for advice on how to get rid of a pastor, here\'s what I\'ll tell him: 1. Look the pastor straight in the eye while he\'s preaching and say \"Amen\" once in a while and he\'ll preach himself to death. 2. Pat him on the back and brag on is good points and he\'ll probably work himself to death. 3. Rededicate your life to Christ and ask the preacher for some job to do, preferably some lost person you could win to Christ, and he\'ll die of heart failure. 4. Get the church to unite in prayer for the preacher and he\'ll soon become so effective that some larger church will take him off your hands. Quoted in You and Your Pastor, Radio Bible Class, J. Reed, The Pastor as a Theologian, in Walvoord: A Tribute, Donald Campbell, ed., Moody, 1982, p. 273. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A group of ministers and a salesman\'s organization were holding conventions in the same hotel, and the catering department had to work at top speed serving dinners to both. The salesmen were having spiked watermelon for dessert. But the chef discovered that it was being served to the ministers by mistake. \"Quick!\" he commanded a waiter. \"Bring it back!\" The waiter returned, reporting that it was too late. The ministers were already eating the liquor-spiced treat. \"Do they like it?\" asked the chef. \"Don\'t know,\" replied the waiter, \"but they\'re putting the seeds in their pockets.\" Quote Magazine. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Most of senior pastor Johathan Boucher\'s parishioners favored independence. George and Martha Washington were frequent visitors, as Martha\'s son John was a student at the church school. Nevertheless, Boucher not only held the Tory position, but openly preached loyalty to King George. This prompted frequent threats, so for six months he preached with a brace of loaded pistols on the seat cushion beside him. One Sunday, matters reached a climax when 200 armed militiamen showed up under the command of Osborne Sprigg, threatening to shoot if he dared mount the pulpit. In the ensuing scuffle, Boucher grabbed Sprigg by the collar and--holding a loaded pistol to his head-- eased his way through the hostile mob. He reached his horse and escaped, sailing to England on the last ship before hostilities broke out. Moody Monthly, July/August 1990, p. 13. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- We cannot make up for failure in our devotional life by redoubling energy in service. We shall never take people beyond our own spiritual attainment. W.H. Griffith Thomas. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was King James I, I believe, who became annoyed with the irrelevant ramblings of his court preacher and shouted up to the pulpit: \"Either make sense or come down out of that pulpit!\" The preacher replied, \"I will do neither.\" Steve Brown, Tabletalk, August, 1990. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Think yourself empty, read yourself full, write yourself clear, pray yourself keen. W.H. Griffith Thomas. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Luther\'s ten qualifications for the minister: 1) He should be able to teach plainly and in order. 2) He should have a good head. 3) Good power of language. 4) A good voice. 5) A good memory. 6) He should know when to stop. 7) He should be sure of what he means to say. 8) And be ready to stake body and soul, goods and reputation on its truth. 9) He should study diligently. 10) And suffer himself to be vexed and criticized by everyone. Resources, #2. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I remember when in Chicago many were toiling in the work, when a minister began to cry out from the depths of his heart, \"O God, put new ministers in every pulpit!\" The next Monday, I heard two or three men say, \"We had a new minister last Sunday--the same old minister, but he had gotten new power.\" I firmly believe that is what we want to do all over the land. We want new ministers in the pulpit. We want people quickened by the Spirit of God. D.L. Moody. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A study of 301 clergy revealed: 66% feel lonely and isolated, 80% sometimes experience feelings of futility, and 90% suffer stress because of problems with parishioners. Many are tired after a 55 hour week, but most say they are 95% satisfied with their work. Homemade, Vol. 13, No. 10, October, 1989. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The wife of a close pastor friend of ours enjoys telling how she awoke one night to find her husband asleep on his elbows and knees at the foot of the bed. His arms were cupped before him as if he were embracing the base of a tree, and he was muttering. \"George! What on earth are you doing?\" she cried. \"Shhh,\" he answered, still asleep. \"I\'m holding a pyramid of marbles together, and if I move, it\'s going to tumble down...\" A classic pastor\'s dream! First, because it was the subconscious revelation of a pressured parson. Second, because the pyramid of marbles is an apt metaphor for a pastor\'s work. K. Hughes, Liberating Ministry From The Success Syndrome, Tyndale, 1988, p.177. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From some 8000 laymen and ministers with whom we have conferred, five principal problems emerge: a loss of nerve, a loss of direction, erosion from culture, confusion of thought, exhaustion...They have become shaken reeds, smoking lamps, earthen vessels...spent arrows. They have lost heart. But they can be revived!\" Carlyle Marney, who conducts the \"Interpreter\'s House\" for discouraged pastors at Lake Junaluska, quoted in K. Menninger, Whatever Became of Sin?, p. 224. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A church janitor was heard to say, \"The blower still works, but the fire has gone out.\" He was discussing a problem with the furnace, but the parishioner who overheard him thought he was speaking about the pastor. E. Lutzer, Pastor to Pastor, p. 67. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The minister\'s shortcoming simply cannot be concealed. Even the most trivial soon get known...However trifling their offenses, these little things seem great to others, since everyone measures sin, not by the size of the offense, but by the standing of the sinner. John Chrysostom (347-407). -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The pastor teaches, though he must solicit his own classes. He heals, though without pills or knife. He is sometimes a lawyer, often a social worker, something of an editor, a bit of a philosopher and entertainer, a salesman, a decorative piece for public functions, and he is supposed to be a scholar. He visits the sick, marries people, buries the dead, labors to console those who sorrow and to admonish those who sin, and tries to stay sweet when chided for not doing his duty. He plans programs, appoints committees when he can get them, spends considerable time in keeping people out of each other\'s hair. Between times he prepares a sermon and preaches it on Sunday to those who don\'t happen to have any other engagement. Then on Monday he smiles when some jovial chap roars, \"What a job--one day a week!\" Source Unknown. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- For you , I am Bishop, but with you, I am a Christian. The first is an office accepted, the second a grace received; one a danger, the other safety. If then I am gladder by far to be redeemed with you than I am to be placed over you, I shall, as the Lord commanded, be more completely your servant. Augustine (354-430). -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- He who is required by the necessity of his position to speak the highest things is compelled by the same necessity to exemplify the highest things. Gregory the Great (540-604). -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Since you [O Lord] have appointed this blind guide to lead then [your people], for their sakes, Lord, if not for mine, teach him whom you have made to be their teacher; lead him whom you have bidden to lead them; rule him who is their ruler. Aelred (1109-1167). -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Prayer, meditation, and temptation make a minister. Martin Luther (1483-1546). -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Those whom the Lord has destined for this great office he previously provides with the armor which is requisite for the discharge of it, that they may not come empty and unprepared. John Calvin (1509-1564). -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I go out to preach with two propositions in mind. First, every person ought to give his life to Christ. Second, whether or not anyone else gives him his life I will give him mine. Jonathan Edwards (1703-1758). -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- F.B. Meyer once said the secret of the great ministry of Samuel Martin (for whom Westminster Chapel was built) was that every Friday he locked himself in the building and went round, kneeling in seat after seat, in prayer for those who sat there. Resource, July/August, 1990. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A prayerless preacher is a misnomer. E.M. Bounds (1835-1913). -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To be a pastor a man must set his heart on the life to come and regard the matters of eternal life above all the affairs of this present life. Above the trifles of this world, he must appreciate in some measure the inestimable riches of glory. Richard Baxter. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- No man who is full of himself can ever truly preach the Christ who emptied Himself. J. Sidlow Baxter. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man should only enter the Christian ministry if he cannot stay out of it. D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones (1899-1981). -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Let ministers daily pursue their studies with diligence and constantly busy themselves with them. Moreover, let them with care and diligence beware of the infectious poison of this imagined security and conceited overestimation; rather let them steadily keep on reading, teaching, studying, pondering, and meditating. My concern should be that others receive from me what God has taught me in Scripture, and that I strive to present this in the most attractive form, to teach the ignorant, to admonish and encourage those who have knowledge, to comfort troubled consciences, to awaken and strengthen negligent and sleepy hearts as Paul did, and as he commanded his pupils Timothy and Titus to do. This should be my concern; how others get the truth from me. Studying is my work--the work God wants me to do. And if it pleases Him, He will bless it. Martin Luther. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PATIENCE
PATIENCE The purposes of God often develop slowly because His grand designs are never hurried. The great New England preacher Phillips Brooks was noted for his poise and quiet manner. At times, however, even he suffered moments of frustration and irritability. One day a friend saw him feverishly pacing the floor like a caged lion. \"What\'s the trouble, Mr. brooks?\" he asked. \"The trouble is that I\'m in a hurry, but God isn\'t!\" Haven\'t we felt the same way many times? Some of the greatest missionaries of history devotedly spread the seed of God\'s Word and yet had to wait long periods before seeing the fruit of their efforts. William Carey, for example, labored 7 years before the first Hindu convert was brought to Christ in Burma, and Adoniram Judson toiled 7 years before his faithful preaching was rewarded. In western Africa, it was 14 years before one convert was received into the Christian church. In New Zealand, it took 9 years; and in Tahiti, it was 16 years before the first harvest of souls began. Thomas a Kempis described that kind of patience in these words: \"He deserves not the name of patient who is only willing to suffer as much as he thinks proper, and for whom he pleases. The truly patient man asks (nothing) from whom he suffers, (whether) his superior, his equal, or his inferior...But from whomever, or how much, or how often wrong is done to him, he accepts it all as from the hand of God, and counts it gain!\" Our Daily Bread. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- True patience is waiting without worrying. C. Swindoll, Growing Strong, p. 124. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- \"Patience serves as a protection against wrongs as clothes do against cold. For if you put on more clothes as the cold increases it will have no power to hurt you. So in like manner you must grow in patience when you meet with great wrongs, and they will then be powerless to vex your mind.\" Leonardo da Vinci. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Patience is a virtue, Possess it if you can. Found seldom in a woman, Never in a man. Source Unknown. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To those Christians who are always in a hurry, here\'s some good advice from the 19th-century preacher A.B. Simpson: \"Beloved, have you ever thought that someday you will not have anything to try you, or anyone to vex you again? There will be no opportunity in heaven to learn or to show the spirit of patience, forbearance, and longsuffering. If you are to practice these things, it must be now.\" Yes, each day affords countless opportunities to learn patience. Let\'s not waste them. Commenting on our need for this virtue, M.H. Lount has said, \"God\'s best gifts come slowly. We could not use them if they did not. Many a man, called of God to...a work in which he is pouring out his life, is convinced that the Lord means to bring his efforts to a successful conclusion. Nevertheless, even such a confident worker grows discouraged at times and worries because results do not come as rapidly as he would desire. But growth and strength in waiting are results often greater than the end so impatiently longed for. Paul had time to realize this as he lay in prison. Moses must have asked, \'Why?\' many times during the delays in Midian and in the wilderness. Jesus Himself experienced the discipline of delay in His silent years before His great public ministry began.\" God wants us to see results as we work for Him, but His first concern is our growth. That\'s why He often withholds success until we have learned patience. The Lord teaches us this needed lesson through the blessed discipline of delay. Our Daily Bread. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hebrews 12:1 tells us to \"run with endurance\" the race set before us. George Matheson wrote, \"We commonly associate patience with lying down. We think of it as the angel that guards the couch of the invalid. Yet there is a patience that I believe to be harder -- the patience that can run. To lie down in the time of grief, to be quiet under the stroke of adverse fortune, implies a great strength; but I know of something that implies a strength greater still: it is the power to work under stress; to have a great weight at your heart and still run; to have a deep anguish in your spirit and still perform the daily tasks. It is a Christ-like thing! The hardest thing is that most of us are called to exercise our patience, not in the sickbed but in the street.\" To wait is hard, to do it with \"good courage\" is harder! Our Daily Bread, April 8. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- According to a traditional Hebrew story, Abraham was sitting outside his tent one evening when he saw an old man, weary from age and journey, coming toward him. Abraham rushed out, greeted him, and then invited him into his tent. There he washed the old man\'s feet and gave him food and drink. The old man immediately began eating without saying any prayer or blessing. So Abraham asked him, \"Don\'t you worship God?\" The old traveler replied, \"I worship fire only and reverence no other god.\" When he heard this, Abraham became incensed, grabbed the old man by the shoulders, and threw him out his his tent into the cold night air. When the old man had departed, God called to his friend Abraham and asked where the stranger was. Abraham replied, \"I forced him out because he did not worship you.\" God answered, \"I have suffered him these eighty years although he dishonors me. Could you not endure him one night?\" Thomas Lindberg. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PATRIOTISM
PATRIOTISM We should behave toward our country as women behave toward the men they love. A loving wife will do anything for her husband except stop criticizing and trying to improve him. We should cast the same affectionate but sharp glance at our country. J. B. Priestley. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Patriotism is not a short and frenzied burst of emotion but the long and steady dedication of a lifetime. Thomas Jefferson. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PC통신/ 종합 인터넷 사업자로 탈바꿈/ 2000-04-24
PC통신/ 종합 인터넷 사업자로 탈바꿈 "인터넷 통신으로 불러주세요" 사이버 공간에서 인터넷과 PC통신의 구분은 더이상 의미가 없다. PC통신서비스가 텍스트기반에서 인터넷의 HTML.TCP/IP기반으로 전환돼 인터넷속으로 속속 들어오고 있다. 폐쇄되고 한정된 공간에서 가입자만을 대상으로 제공하던 서비스 방식에서 탈피,광활한 인터넷의 바다로 점점 영토를 확장하고 있는 것이다. 데이콤 천리안,한국통신하이텔,유니텔,나우콤 등 4대 PC통신은 2000년을 텍스트와 그래픽 위주의 "PC통신"에서 멀티미디어 기반의 "인터넷통신"으로 완전히 탈바꿈하는 원년으로 삼고 있다. 이들 업체는 기존 서비스를 바탕으로 인터넷비즈니스의 핵심인 전자상거래 포털 인터넷접속서비스 웹호스팅 데이터센터 등에 경쟁적으로 진출하고 있다. 종합인터넷사업자로 변신,인터넷시장을 제패하겠다는 전략이다. <> 천리안 =지난해 10월 전용브라우저인 천리안2000을 개발,HTML기반의 인터넷서비스환경을 구축했다. 현재 전용브라우저 이용률이 80%에 달하고 있다. 천리안은 또 일반 네티즌을 대상으로 하는 포털서비스( www.chollian.net )를 위해 최근 전담본부인 포털추진본부를 결성,본격적인 포털을 추진하고 있다. 천리안은 우선 강력한 커뮤니티 형성에 주안점을 두고 있다. 이를 위해 동호회 솔루션과 무료E메일 은 물론 팩스전송까지 할 수 있는 통합메시징서비스를 준비중이다. 또 경매 검색 여성전용서비스 어린이전용서비스 증권서비스 등 전분야에 걸친 콘텐츠를 일반 회원들에게 제공한다. 현재 인터넷방송국인 "CFOCUS",정보통신웹진 "천리안월드",어린이천리안,게임포털 "깸스터",게임전문웹진 "깸르뽀",검색서비스인 "심마니",커뮤니티서비스인 "야와",종합쇼핑몰인 "천리안쇼핑"을 운영중이다. 천리안은 "무선 인터넷시대"에 대비,현재 LG텔레콤과 함께 인터넷 HDML기반의 시범서비스를 구축했다. 또 25종의 무선콘텐츠를 구축했으며 연말까지 1백여종까지 확대할 계획이다. <> 하이텔 =지난 21일 "하이텔2000"을 발표,인터넷과 PC통신 구분없는 토털 온라인서비스 제공에 박차를 가하고 있다. 기존 1만5천여개 서비스를 뉴스센터 증권/금융 부동산/경매 비즈니스 교육 쇼핑 등 25가지 채널로 나눠 각 채널을 하나의 독립된 전문포털서비스로 운영할 예정이다. 또 소프트웨어의 자동업그레이드 기술을 가지고 있는 미국 마림바의 솔루션을 적용,이용자가 모르는 사이에 프로그램을 자동 업그레이드시켜 준다. 인터넷비즈니스분야에서는 전자상거래와 포털을 핵심사업으로 정하고 지난 3월 종합쇼핑몰인 이하이텔( www.ehitel.net )과 종합포털서비스인 하이텔넷( www.hitel.net )을 정식 출범시켰다. 하이텔은 또 차세대 인터넷비즈니스로 주목받고 있는 ASP사업을 적극 전개해 나갈 방침이다. 이 사업을 통해 기업들에 인터넷을 통해 인사관리 고객관리 재무관리 등 각각의 업무분야에 맞는 애플리케이션을 저렴한 비용으로 공급할 계획이다. 이를 위해 세계적인 비즈니스소프트웨어 공급업체인 CA와 지난 3월초 합작법인을 설립했다. <> 유니텔 =최근 삼성SDS로부터 분사하면서 "종합인터넷회사"를 선언했다. 올해는 인터넷통신 유니텔온라인,포털사이트 웨피,B2B의 비즈니스 인터넷,B2C 인터넷 쇼핑몰 유니플라자 등 기존 인터넷서비스의 핵심 역량을 강화하고 상호 시너지 효과를 내기 위한 새로운 비즈니스 모델을 만들어나가는 데 주력할 방침이다. 유니텔도 올초 "유니텔2000"을 발표,보다 편리하게 인터넷을 사용할 수 있는 이용자 편의 기능을 강화했다. 특히 스틸무비 컨트롤 기능을 통해 전화접속 환경에서도 안정적으로 동영상서비스를 제공하고 음성채팅을 확대하는 등 멀티미디어 서비스를 향상시켰다. 유니텔은 또 어린이 주부 노인 등 세대별 계층별로 전문화된 포털사이트를 구축하고 있다. 올초 어린이전용 웹사이트인 유니키즈( www.unikids.co.kr )를 개설한데 이어 대학생사이트인 " n@ilshot "와 주부인터넷사이트,노인층 대상의 실버사이트를 조만간 운영할 예정이다. <> 나우누리 =나우누리는 지난 1월 나우콤을 인수한 두루넷의 초고속인터넷서비스와 결합,"최강의 온라인 서비스"를 제공한다는 전략이다. 최근 두루넷가입자는 나우누리를 무료로 이용하게 해주는 통합상품을 내놓기도 했다. 나우누리 인터넷서비스의 핵심은 테마포털서비스.지난해 10월부터 모빌 유머 만화 미팅 게임 등 네티즌들에게 인기있는 아이템을 선정,포털사이트를 구축 운영하고 있다. 향후 두루넷의 멤버십과 커뮤니티툴,경쟁력있는 테마포털을 결합해 국내 최대규모의 "테마포털 허브사이트"를 구축할 계획이다. 나우누리는 전자상거래의 경쟁요소를 이용자간 "거래 커뮤니티"로 꼽고 이를 적극 추진할 계획이다. 이를 위해 공동구매 장터 경매 등 이용자간 거래를 활성화하는데 주력할 방침이다. 또 오는 6월께 나우누리의 커뮤니티와 종합쇼핑몰인 메타랜드의 솔루션과 상품자원을 연계시킨 "나우누리-메타랜드 통합쇼핑몰"을 선보인다. 연말까지는 나우누리의 인터넷 표준플랫폼 개발및 운영능력과 두루넷의 시스템자원을 결합시킨 "나우콤-두루넷 공동 데이터센터"를 구축할 계획이다. 송태형 기자
PEACE
PEACE I rest beneath the Almighty\'s shade, My griefs expire, my troubles cease; Thou, Lord, on whom my soul is stayed, Wilt keep me still in perfect peace. Charles Wesley. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Safety consists not in the absence of danger but in the presence of God. Source Unknown. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Society of International Law, in London, states that during the last 4,000 years there have been only 268 years of peace in spite of good peace treaties. In the last 3 centuries there have been 286 wars on the continent of Europe alone. J.K. Laney, Marching Orders, p 50. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Peace that Jesus gives is not the absence of trouble, but is rather the confidence that He is there with you always. Source Unknown. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Power of Peace As I perused an old copy of The Wonderful Word edited by Leon Tucker, I came upon a tremendous sermon by W.H. Griffith- Thomas entitled \"The Power of Peace.\" He gave an exposition of 2 Thess. 3:16, \"Now the Lord of peace Himself give you peace always by all means.\" His outline should prove helpful to Christian workers. I. The Nature of Peace 1. Peace of a quiet conscience (Rom. 8:33-35; three questions) 2. Peace of a restful mind (Phil. 4:7) 3. Peace of a surrendered will 4. Peace of a hopeful heart (Isaiah 50:7) 5. Peace of loving fellowship II. The Source of Peace 1. Peace with God (Rom. 5:1) 2. The God of peace (Rom. 15:33) 3. The peace of God (Phil. 4:7) 4. The Lord of peace (2 Thess. 3:16) III. The Channel of Peace \"The Lord of peace Himself give you peace always by all means\" (2 Thess. 3:16) IV. The Duration of Peace \"...give you peace always.\" V. The Secret of Peace \"The Lord of peace Himself give you peace...\" W.H. Griffith, The Power of Peace. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Long ago a man sought the perfect picture of peace. Not finding one that satisfied, he announced a contest to produce this masterpiece. The challenge stirred the imagination of artists everywhere, and paintings arrived from far and wide. Finally the great day of revelation arrived. The judges uncovered one peaceful scene after another, while the viewers clapped and cheered. The tensions grew. Only two pictures remained veiled. As a judge pulled the cover from one, a hush fell over the crowd. A mirror-smooth lake reflected lacy, green birches under the soft blush of the evening sky. Along the grassy shore, a flock of sheep grazed undisturbed. Surely this was the winner. The man with the vision uncovered the second painting himself, and the crowd gasped in surprise. Could this be peace? A tumultuous waterfall cascaded down a rocky precipice; the crowd could almost feel its cold, penetrating spray. Stormy-gray clouds threatened to explode with lightning, wind and rain. In the midst of the thundering noises and bitter chill, a spindly tree clung to the rocks at the edge of the falls. One of its branches reached out in front of the torrential waters as if foolishly seeking to experience its full power. A little bird had built a nest in the elbow of that branch. Content and undisturbed in her stormy surroundings, she rested on her eggs. With her eyes closed and her wings ready to cover her little ones, she manifested peace that transcends all earthly turmoil. Berit Kjos, A Wardrobe from the King, pp. 45-46. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Personnel Journal reported this incredible statistic: since the beginning of recorded history, the entire world has been at peace less than eight percent of the time! In its study, the periodical discovered that of 3530 years of recorded history, only 286 years saw peace. Moreover, in excess of 8000 peace treaties were made--and broken. Moody Bible Institute, Today In The Word, June, 1988, p.33. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Peace is such a precious jewel, that I would give anything for it but truth. Matthew Henry. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Duke University did a study on \"peace of mind.\" Factors found to contribute greatly to emotional and mental stability are: 1) the absence of suspicion and resentment. Nursing a grudge was a major factor in unhappiness. 2) Not living in the past. An unwholesome preoccupation with old mistakes and failures leads to depression. 3) Not wasting time and energy fighting conditions you cannot change. Cooperate with life, instead of trying to run away from it. 4) Force yourself to stay involved with the living world. Resist the temptation to withdraw and become reclusive during periods of emotional stress. 5) Refuse to indulge in self-pity when life hands you a raw deal. Accept the fact that nobody gets through life without some sorrow and misfortune. 6) Cultivate the old-fashioned virtues--love, humor, compassion and loyalty. 7) Do not expect too much of yourself. When there is too wide a gap between self-expectation and your ability to meet the goals you have set, feelings of inadequacy are inevitable. 8) Find something bigger than yourself to believe in. Self-centered egotistical people score lowest in any test for measuring happiness. Source Unknown. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A former president of the Norwegian Academy of Sciences and historians from England, Egypt, Germany, and India have come up with some startling information: Since 3600 B.C. the world has known only 292 years of peace! During this period there have been 14,351 wars, large and small, in which 3.64 billion people have been killed. The value of the property destroyed would pay for a golden belt around the world 97.2 miles wide and 33 feet thick. Since 650 B.C. there have also been 1656 arms races, only 16 of which have not ended in war. The remainder ended in the economic collapse of the countries involved. Source Unknown. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In 1555, Nicholas Ridley was burned at the stake because of his witness for Christ. On the night before Ridley\'s execution, his brother offered to remain with him in the prison chamber to be of assistance and comfort. Nicholas declined the offer and replied that he meant to go to bed and sleep as quietly as ever he did in his life. Because he knew the peace of God, he could rest in the strength of the everlasting arms of his Lord to meet his need. So can we! Source Unknown. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PEACE, of God
PEACE, of God In my late twenties, a bunch of my friends and I decided to sail around the world. I have to admit, though, at the time I was a bit worried. I hadn\'t even sailed before. I was uneasy and anxious. So I spent a lot of time reading the Bible and praying about it, until it dawned on me that God was whispering, \"Tim, I\'ll give you peace if you read some books on sailing. The reason you\'re anxious is not due to lack of prayer, but to your lack of sailing knowledge.\" I wasn\'t unprayerful; I was unskilled. So I took a step I needed to take to \"let\" God work his peace in my heart. I began reading about sailing. Tim Hansel, Holy Sweat, 1987, Word Books Publisher, p. 63.
PEACEMAKERS
PEACEMAKERS a person who tries to persuade people or countries to stop arguing or fighting and to make peace For 10 years, the \"Peacemaker\" cast a large shadow on the Iron Curtain and served as our nations major deterrent weapons system. But she was called forth to act once more as peacemaker. I am a peacemaker, but I also have a bad temper. This peacemaker was the gun that would tame the West. Like his father, Feathers gained a reputation as a peacemaker.
PEER PRESSURE
PEER PRESSURE (see also CONFORMITY) Crowd control is the method of making sure that a large crowd does not get out of hand. But the term may also refer to the control a crowd can wield over an individual. I was reminded of this in a newspaper article about an old carnival headliner nicknamed \"Cannonball.\" In his younger days he was blasted out of a cannon 1,200 times. When asked why he did this, he replied, \"Do you know what it\'s like to feel the applause of 60,000 people? That\'s why I did it!\" Source Unknown. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- An old fable that has been passed down for generations tells about an elderly man who was traveling with a boy and a donkey. As they walked through a village, the man was leading the donkey and the boy was walking behind. The townspeople said the old man was a fool for not riding, so to please them he climbed up on the animal\'s back. When they came to the next village, the people said the old man was cruel to let the child walk while he enjoyed the ride. So, to please them, he got off and set the boy on the animal\'s back and continued on his way. In the third village, people accused the child of being lazy for making the old man walk, and the suggestion was made that they both ride. So the man climbed on and they set off again. In the fourth village, the townspeople were indignant at the cruelty to the donkey because he was made to carry two people. The frustrated man was last seen carrying the donkey down the road. We smile, but this story makes a good point: We can\'t please everybody, and if we try we end up carrying a heavy burden. Well-meaning Christians may offer us advice, and much of it is valuable. But when we try to do everything other believers want us to do, we can easily become frustrated and confused . That\'s why we need to remember that the One we must please above all others is Christ. And we do that by obeying God\'s Word. Carried any donkeys lately? You don\'t have to if you\'re trying to please Jesus. Source Unknown. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- We Americans do not adequately appreciate the political process in our nation. During the campaign, I often recounted a nightmarish 1938 incident from Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn\'s The Gulag Archipelago, by way of contrast: A district party conference was under way in Moscow Province. It was presided over by a new secretary of the District Party Committee, replacing one recently arrested. At the conclusion of the conference, a tribute to Comrade Stalin was called for. Of course, everyone stood up (just as everyone had leaped to his feet during the conference with every mention of his name). The hall echoed with \"stormy applause, raising to an ovation.\" For three minutes, four minutes, five minutes, the \"stormy applause, rising to an ovation,\" continued. But palms were getting sore and raised arms were already aching. And the older people were panting from exhaustion. It was becoming insufferably silly even to those who adored Stalin. However, who would dare to be the first to stop? The secretary of the District Party could have done it. He was standing on the platform, and it was he who had just called for the ovation. But he was a newcomer. He had taken the place of a man who\'d been arrested. He was afraid! After all, NKVD men were standing in the hall applauding and watching to see who would quit first! And in the obscure, small hall, unknown to the leader, the applause went on -- six, seven, eight minutes! They were done for! Their goose was cooked! They couldn\'t stop now till they collapsed with heart attacks! At the rear of the hall, which was crowded, they could of course cheat a bit, clap less frequently, less vigorously, not so eagerly -- but up there with the presidium where everyone could see them? The director of the local paper factory, an independent and strong-minded man, stood with the presidium. Aware of all the falsity and all the impossibility of the situation, he still kept on applauding! Nine minutes! Ten! In anguish he watched the secretary of the District Party Committee, but the latter dared not stop. Insanity! To the last man! With make-believe enthusiasm on their faces, looking at each other with faint hope, the district leaders were just going to go on and on applauding till they fell where they stood, till they were carried out of the hall on stretchers! And even then those who were left would not falter... Then, after eleven minutes, the director of the paper factory assumed a businesslike expression and sat down in his seat. And, oh, a miracle took place! Where had the universal, uninhibited, indescribable enthusiasm gone? To a man, everyone else stopped dead and sat down. They had been saved! The squirrel had been smart enough to jump off his revolving wheel. That, however, was how they discovered who the independent people were. And that was how they went about eliminating them. That same night the factory director was arrested. They easily pasted ten years on him on the pretext of something quite different. But after he had signed Form 206, the final document of the interrogation, his interrogator reminded him: \"Don\'t ever be the first to stop applauding!\" Robert P. Dugan, Jr., Winning the New Civil War, pp. 25-27. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A few years ago psychologist Ruth W. Berenda and her associates carried out an interesting experiment with teenagers designed to show how a person handled group pressure. The plan was simple. They brought groups of ten adolescents into a room for a test. Subsequently, each group of ten was instructed to raise their hands when the teacher pointed to the longest line on three separate charts. What one person in the group did not know was that nine of the others in the room had been instructed ahead of time to vote for the second-longest line. Regardless of the instructions they heard, once they were all together in the group, the nine were not to vote for the longest line, but rather vote for the next to the longest line. The experiment began with nine teen-agers voting for the wrong line. The stooge would typically glance around, frown in confusion, and slip his hand up with the group. The instructions were repeated and the next card was raised. Time after time, the self-conscious stooge would sit there saying a short line is longer than a long line, simply because he lacked the courage to challenge the group. This remarkable conformity occurred in about 75% of the cases, and was true of small children and high-school students as well. Berenda concluded that, \"Some people had rather be president than right,\" which is certainly an accurate assessment. C. Swindoll, Living Above the Level of Mediocrity, p. 225. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Once a spider built a beautiful web in an old house. He kept it clean and shiny so that flies would patronize it. The minute he got a \"customer\" he would clean up on him so the other flies would not get suspicious. Then one day this fairly intelligent fly came buzzing by the clean spider web. Old man spider called out, \"Come in and sit.\" But the fairly intelligent fly said, \"No, sir. I don\'t see other flies in your house, and I am not going in alone!\" But presently he saw on the floor below a large crowd of flies dancing around on a piece of brown paper. He was delighted! He was not afraid if lots of flies were doing it. So he came in for a landing. Just before he landed, a bee zoomed by, saying, \"Don\'t land there, stupid! That\'s flypaper!\" But the fairly intelligent fly shouted back, \"Don\'t be silly. Those flies are dancing. There\'s a big crowd there. Everybody\'s doing it. That many flies can\'t be wrong!\" Well, you know what happened. He died on the spot. Some of us want to be with the crowd too badly that we end up in a mess. What does it profit a fly (or a person) if he escapes the web only to end up in the glue? Charles Swindoll, Living Above the Level of Mediocrity, p. 223-4. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PENTECOST
PENTECOST (see also Acts 2:1-21) Power can be used in at least two ways: it can be unleashed, or it can be harnessed. The energy in ten gallons of gasoline, for instance, can be released explosively by dropping a lighted match into the can. Or it can be channeled through the engine of a Datsun in a controlled burn and used to transport a person 350 miles. Explosions are spectacular, but controlled burns have lasting effect, staying power. The Holy Spirit works both ways. At Pentecost, he exploded on the scene; His presence was like \"tongues of fire\" (Acts 2:3). Thousands were affected by one burst of God\'s power. But He also works through the church--the institution God began to tap the Holy Spirit\'s power for the long haul. Through worship, fellowship, and service, Christians are provided with staying power. Source Unknown. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If people would have been asked in 1968 which nation would dominate the world in watch making during the 1990s and into the twenty-first century the answer would have been uniform: Switzerland. Why? Because Switzerland had dominated the world of watch making for the previous sixty years. The Swiss made the best watches in the world and were committed to constant refinement of their expertise. It was the Swiss who came forward with the minute hand and the second hand. They led the world in discovering better ways to manufacture the gears, hearings, and mainsprings of watches. They even led the way in waterproofing techniques and self-winding models. By 1968, the Swiss made 65 percent of all watches sold in the world and laid claim to as much as 90 percent of the profits. By 1980, however, they had laid off thousands of watch-makers and controlled less than 10 percent of the world market. Their profit domination dropped to less than 20 percent. Between 1979 and 1981, fifty thousand of the sixty-two thou-sand Swiss watchmakers lost their jobs. Why? The Swiss had refused to consider a new development—the—the Quartz movement—ironically, invented by a Swiss. Because it had no main-spring or knob, it was rejected. It was too much of a paradigm shift for them to embrace. Seiko, on the other hand, accepted it and, along with a few other companies, became the leader in the watch industry. The lesson of the Swiss watchmakers is profound. A past that was so secure, so profitable, so dominant was destroyed by an unwillingness to consider the future. It was more than not being able to make predictions—it was an inability to re-think how they did business. Past success had blinded them to the importance of seeing the implications of the changing world and to admit that past accomplishment was no guarantee of future success. James Enery White, Rethinking The Church, Baker Books, 1998, p. 20. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PEOPLE
PEOPLE In the 1950s, marketing whiz Stanley Arnold was working at Young & Rubicam, where he was asked to come up with a marketing campaign for Remington Rand. The company was among the most conservative in America. Its chairman at the time was retired General Douglas MacArthur. Intimidated at first by a company that was so much a part of America, Arnold also found in that phrase the first inspiration for a campaign. After thinking about it, he went to the New York offices of Merrill Lynch, Pierce, Fenner and Beane, and placed the ultimate odd-lot order: \"I want to purchase,\" he told the broker, \"one share of every single stock listed on the New York Stock Exchange.\" After a vice president tried to talk him out of it, the order was finally placed. It came to more than $42,000 for one share in each of the 1098 companies listed on the Big Board at the time. Arnold now took his diversified portfolio into a meeting of Remington Rand\'s board of directors, where he argued passionately for a sweepstakes campaign with the top prize called A Share in America. The conservative old gentlemen shifted around in their seats and discussed the idea for a while. \"But Mr. Arnold,\" said one, \"we are not in the securities business.\" Said another, \"We are in the shaver business.\" \"I agree that you are not in the securities business,\" said Arnold, \"but I think you also ought to realize that you are not in the shaver business either. You are in the people business.\" The company bought the idea. Peter Hay, The Book of Business Anecdotes, in Bits and Pieces, Oct, 1990. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The more I get to know people, the more I love my dog. Frederick the Great. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PERFECTION
PERFECTION Edwin Bliss said, \"The pursuit of excellence is gratifying and healthy. The pursuit of perfection is frustrating, neurotic, and a terrible waste of time.\" Tim Hansel, Eating Problems for Breakfast, Word Publishing, 1988, p. 39. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Perfect Story: There was a perfect man who met a perfect woman. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve this perfect couple was driving along a winding road when they noticed someone at the roadside in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident. Who was the survivor? Answer: The perfect woman. She\'s the only one that really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man. A Male\'s Response: So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident. Source Unknown. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PERFECTIONISM
PERFECTIONISM And bowling? Odds against rolling a perfect 300 in the game are about 225,000 to one. And one bowler appropriately collapsed when he qualified to join that brotherhood of 300. Another bowler just couldn\'t bring himself to play the final ball of an otherwise perfect game. Instead he silently packed his shoes and ball and walked out -- and never again set foot inside a bowling alley! Campus Life. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- After a long absence from the stage, pianist Vladimir Horowitz was to perform in Chicago. Franz Mohr, the chief concert technician for Steinway and Sons, was assigned to make sure the piano was in perfect condition. He did so to the best of his ability, but wasn\'t able to relax until Horowitz had given a brilliant rendering of his first number. As was his custom, the pianist left the stage -- but didn\'t return. Mohr was summoned backstage. \"Where have you been?\" exclaimed Horowitz. \"I cannot play again. The piano stool is far too high!\" Mohr nervously inquired at to the size of the problem. Horowitz held up his hand, his thumb and forefinger about a quarter of an inch apart. Today in the Word, March 25, 1993. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- John Quincy Adams held more important offices than anyone else in the history of the U.S. He served with distinction as president, senator, congressman, minister to major European powers, and participated in various capacities in the American Revolution, the War of 1812, and events leading to the Civil War. Yet, at age 70, with much of that behind him, he wrote, \"My whole life has been a succession of disappointments. I can scarcely recollect a single instance of success in anything that I ever undertook.\" Charles Sell, Unfinished Business, Multnomah, 1989, p. 233. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In his men\'s seminar, David Simmons, a former cornerback for the Dallas Cowboys, tells about his childhood home. His father, a military man, was extremely demanding, rarely saying a kind word, always pushing him with harsh criticism to do better. The father had decided that he would never permit his son to feel any satisfaction from his accomplishments, reminding him there were always new goals ahead. When Dave was a little boy, his dad gave him a bicycle, unassembled, with the command that he put it together. After Dave struggled to the point of tears with the difficult instructions and many parts, his father said, \"I knew you couldn\'t do it.\" Then he assembled it for him. When Dave played football in high school, his father was unrelenting in his criticisms. In the backyard of his home, after every game, his dad would go over every play and point out Dave\'s errors. \"Most boys got butterflies in the stomach before the game; I got them afterwards. Facing my father was more stressful than facing any opposing team.\" By the time he entered college, Dave hated his father and his harsh discipline. He chose to play football at the University of Georgia because its campus was further from home than any school that offered him a scholarship. After college, he became the second round draft pick of the St. Louis cardinal\'s professional football club. Joe Namath (who later signed with the New York Jets), was the club\'s first round pick that year. \"Excited, \"I telephoned my father to tell him the good news. He said, \'How does it feel to be second?\'\" Despite the hateful feelings he had for his father, Dave began to build a bridge to his dad. Christ had come into his life during college years, and it was God\'s love that made him turn to his father. During visits home he stimulated conversation with him and listened with interest to what his father had to say. He learned for the first time what his grandfather had been like--a tough lumberjack known for his quick temper. Once he destroyed a pickup truck with a sledgehammer because it wouldn\'t start, and he often beat his son. This new awareness affected Dave dramatically. \"Knowing about my father\'s upbringing not only made me more sympathetic for him, but it helped me see that, under the circumstances, he might have done much worse. By the time he died, I can honestly say we were friends.\" Charles Sell, Unfinished Business, Multnomah, 1989, p. 171. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------